Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
deleted_user
Grief support groups are excellent for coping w/your grief ~
Some support groups have a leader or moderator who will share their experience &/or educate & share tips for living w/grief ~
Talking w/others is also good ~
You get to ask questions of others about what they have tried, what has been sucessful, make friends as well as observe how they handle their grief including those who have healed from grief ~
Grief counseling is optimal when you are ready to dig into grief work ~
It might be after 6 months or a bit longer ~
The first some odd months we are overwhelmed w/grief making it almost impossible to get out of bed ~
The other is that we talk incessantly about our deceased ~
Some mental health professionals will take widow/er early out to be a listening board for their client or ----- sometimes money is a good motivator ~
It is possible to wear out a mental health professional from constant talk as well as our friends & family ~
It can take months of talking before a widow/er has exhausted it before therapy can begin ~
Therapy involves personal work ~
It is hard to change even for our own good ~
Therapy/counseling can piss you off alot learning hard truths about ourself, the hard truths about the outside world, why we react or respond the way we do when grieving ~
The prime benefit is having the personal attention provided in teaching coping skills, having your self esteem built up & instructions for practicing new skills & techniques from a professional in the field ~
If you have completed a round of therapy & later feel like you are again lacking something, it is always okay to return to therapy ~
Grief can also be healed naturally w/pro-action ~
Teach one's self about grief, building one's self esteem, discovering & trying out grief tools/coping skills for the long haul ~
Happiness comes from the inside; not the outside ~
Best wishes ~
Some support groups have a leader or moderator who will share their experience &/or educate & share tips for living w/grief ~
Talking w/others is also good ~
You get to ask questions of others about what they have tried, what has been sucessful, make friends as well as observe how they handle their grief including those who have healed from grief ~
Grief counseling is optimal when you are ready to dig into grief work ~
It might be after 6 months or a bit longer ~
The first some odd months we are overwhelmed w/grief making it almost impossible to get out of bed ~
The other is that we talk incessantly about our deceased ~
Some mental health professionals will take widow/er early out to be a listening board for their client or ----- sometimes money is a good motivator ~
It is possible to wear out a mental health professional from constant talk as well as our friends & family ~
It can take months of talking before a widow/er has exhausted it before therapy can begin ~
Therapy involves personal work ~
It is hard to change even for our own good ~
Therapy/counseling can piss you off alot learning hard truths about ourself, the hard truths about the outside world, why we react or respond the way we do when grieving ~
The prime benefit is having the personal attention provided in teaching coping skills, having your self esteem built up & instructions for practicing new skills & techniques from a professional in the field ~
If you have completed a round of therapy & later feel like you are again lacking something, it is always okay to return to therapy ~
Grief can also be healed naturally w/pro-action ~
Teach one's self about grief, building one's self esteem, discovering & trying out grief tools/coping skills for the long haul ~
Happiness comes from the inside; not the outside ~
Best wishes ~
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The grief support I went to has a counselor, and she does all the talking. She asks questions, then tells you what she sees, in front of the other people. Like a private therapst would. It didn't seem like anyone was allowed to just speak. The other two women that were there, didn't answer but quick answers. And they all were asked what they thought about my grief. The oe lady was married 70 years she had been going over 2 years. never said a word. Except she didn't want to live anymore. The other one was married 65 years, and her problem was her kids are smothering her, taking care of her.....And being there for her. thats all I learned the hour we were there.
You think maybe I should look for a different group? One where there is a group, rather than a lecture? Where you can voice whats going on?
St. Bernard of Clairvaux
I did grief support through Hospice twice. Once with a one on one counselor for a couple of months and then with a hospice group for 8 weeks. Both experiences were really good. My one on one guy let me talk out my pain and grief and then helped me find ways to cope.
The group had 10 people but we ended with only 7. Lots of grief exercises and talking and sharing. Lots of hugs and compassions.
Now I'm in a support group that meets every week. It gives me the arena to talk about what I'm feeling with people who really understand.
Good luck to everyone. ...hope you find the experience helpful and comforting.
Blessings,
Sharon
Thank you,
DorothyJoan
You can type in Griefshare and you will end up at their web site. Punch in your zip code and it will show all the groups near you. For Hospice, just call your local hospital and they will tell you what they have. Many churches have groups that deal with grief. Call one and if they don't have a group, they may be able to tell you who does.
Blessings,
Sharon
DorothyJoan
Their website is www.griefshare.org
I also recommend the book, Widow to Widow. I don't remember the author but she lost her husband too and it is a practical guide to surviving the first year especially. I am a poster child for the first two chapters! I thought she must have interviewed me! Very practical information about taking care of yourself, what to expect, on being angry, on how to deal with finances, etc. A very good read!