forget past. when you stopthinking about your past then you will be able to see a better future.from your post here i understand there is nothing to be learnt from past i mean mistakes that ruined your life etc.then why are you thinking about it all the time? you can do nothing about what happened to you.but the present and future is in your hands.first of all try to heal yourself .get busy in some job ,some activity that will need all of your attention to be done.this way you escape pain of past.meet new people.do new things .do all those things that makes you feel better and helps you heal yourself.i am sure you will be happy again.as far as i know adopting a child is not a good idea at the moment because its a great responsibility ,when we ourselves cant handle our own lives we cant do justice to others involved in our life.i mean this baby you want to adopt is a new person you need to care of him,try your very best to satisfy your child's needs. when you are not settled in life how can you raise a baby at the moment.it will only make you more frustrated. so heal your self ,when your ready for anew life that you are going to create for yourself ,then adopt a baby.

Hello Munmun,
Amy and I were married for 35 years. We also dated 4 years prior to that. So she was part of my life for 39 years. Amy helped mold me to who I am today. She challenged me, listened to me, coached me, cried with me, supported me, and most of all she loved me for who I was and who I am. For all of these reasons (and more) I will love her forever.
My past will not be forgotten. It cannot be forgotten. For me, it should not be forgotten. It is who I am. Because of her, I think that I am a better person.
Will my future be different? Yes. Will I love again? I do not know, but I sure do hope so, when the time is right. I think that Amy would want it that way. My past, present and future will coexist. That is who I was, who I am and who I will be.
Blessings, Peace, Healing and Hope for today and for tomorrow…. Mark

Munmun the pain will lessen with time. You need to take ech day by day , hour by hour. It will reduce eventually. You will however have good days and bad days and you will need to release emotions out and move on. You need to come to peace with your beloved spouse. It will help quite a bit. Prayers and healing for you.

Munmun, I'm so sorry for lose of your Love. I lost my husband Dennis suddenly, 16 months ago.
We were married 50 years..All I can tell you is everyone here has experienced the Grief Pain you are going through..Please don't make any major decisions for at least a year..Give yourself time to heal..
I think probably want you're experiencing also is Guilt, don't it does you no good and won't change the outcome. It's a wasted emotion..Next is regret we all have them, that's normal.. Develop a routine, Get up make your bed, get dressed, try and eat something and drinks lot of fluids. Go for a walk or call a family member or friend..Don't always expect them to call you..Maybe instead of adopting a kid, how about getting a pet? They can bring great, unconditional comfort..
If you have too see a doctor, sometimes we need a little help..that's OK..
Most important take care of you...
Don't cry because it's over..Smile because it happened...Peace and Hugs..Gail..
Watch for the signs from your Love, I've had many from my skeptic...

Thanks all . How do I make peach with my spouse ? Accepting that he is gone ? Mark - I know we are a better person today because of our past . But just imagine I didn't even a full year with him , we both loved each other madly for these months and it's so brutal to be left alone . I cry because our life couldn't start . Few years and a kid I would have been less miserable than this I feel .Gail - yea I shouldn't do any changes but his memories give me a sense of no future and keep haunting me .

Munmun - praying to him and praying for him may help in making peace with him. Maybe you are thinking now hes not at peace and thats causing you the turmoil. Once you know hes at peace and happy will shift your perspective quite a bit. Apologise to him in your mind with all the love for what you may think you have done and get acceptance. Its not easy but once you get it you would slowly move out of immense pain you are feeling and you may start looking at the door which is open - which you cant feel right now. I have experienced immense pain at all levels after my wife transited and I have been trying to come to peace with her and somewhat in the process which complete would help me to move forward with our child and would also help her to progress further spiritually in the spiritual realm she is in. Prayers to you.

Three months is really not that much time. I would not recommend adopting a child or IVF at this time. They say to give yourself at least a year before making any major life changes and I think that is a good idea. I lost my husband 10 weeks ago today and sometimes I think I want to move out of this house that he died in but then I think it's too soon for such a major change that I might regret (plus I really don't have the energy right now). I hope it gets a little easier for you as time goes by. Sylvia

Munmun, my heart breaks for you...I'm sorry you had such a short time with Mark..What would Mark want you to do?..Did you two ever talk about it?..Don't try to project to far into the future.
It doesn't do any good...I wish I had the magic answer for you, Munmun, but I don't..Life isn't always fair..trust me I know as do many others here...I don't know how old you are, but do you have someone close who you can express you feeling too? Were you close to Marks Family?..Maybe you can comfort each other..because they have also lost a son...Please take care of you...love and peace..Gail...Come here often and vent, good people here willing too listening and help..

Time isn't healing anything for me. I have to do something for myself else time will only kill me . I m 32 and now with parents , they are taking care of me . I have isolated myself from the rest of the world and I dunno if I will ever get out there .i love him way too much , never picture one day without him . We never stayed apart and it was so so short one . Why God does this unfair and brutal things ? My husband didn't even live a little of the life he longed for and dreamt with me . So unfair to both of us . I wish I can get an answer someday . I have such a bad fate .