I think music has a very marked effect on us emotionally - and especially if you have all these special memories involving the Easter weekend. There probably isn't a certain period of time when the tears will stop flowing unexpectedly. I'm sure this was hard for you, but it is certainly understandable. I hope you are feeling better this afternoon; Sunday afternoons have been the hardest times for me since my husband's been gone. I had children & grandkids here for a couple of days & nights, so I have lots to clean up and not think about how sad some Sundays are. You take care!
Doye

My husband died 16 months ago.l don,t know how l got through the first year,but like you it was filled with loving memories of him,and just trying to come to terms with everything.l am now in the second year and l am finding it a bit harder.Someone once said to me that it will get harder as time goes on,but l thought that was impossible.
My grief has taken on a deep realisation that this is it,this is final,this is my life,even though the first year l had come to some sort of acceptance about his death.
l went through in my mind,his illness,his death,the neglect he received,but l no longer do this,instead its another form of the same grief but it has changed to an understanding in my mind that there is nothing left for me to question,this is it.
l had a bad week last week,crying,just missing him so much,but this week l,m sort of stable again,and this is how it goes.
l have come to accept whatever mood l,m in l will go with it,fed up trying to fight it.
l really don,t think there is a time limit,l expect always to be upset with his loss,l expect to cry at times when l hear music,see films,photographs etc,but l do think that we will learn with time to just accept that this is grief,and accept what ever comes our way.
Alice

It will be 10 months for me the 17th of this month. I am wondering if it will ever get easier. I am told that it does so I have to believe it. I miss him so very much and don't want to be here by myself. I feel so alone even though I have family not very far away.

Some things just trigger that kind of reaction, I think, and I agree with Doye - music is a big trigger for me. I still have them - but they are not as frequent and not as severe, it usually takes something to set me off. The second year was different, still hard in some ways, but different. I'm now at 28-1/2 months, so I'm into my third year as a widow. I seem to be able to recover more rapidly from the grief bursts than I did in either the first year or the second.

I hope that helps. Love and Hugs, Martha

It will be three years for me in June and I started crying about half way through the service this morning. The pastor's topic was "Don't be troubled" and I am sorry to say even with the knowledge that we have a risen Savior I still have times that I am troubled. Being this Holiday meal was at my house, it is especially difficult for me. Don used to peel the potatoes, and put the meat in the oven while I was at church. Preparing a meal for the family without him is very hard for me and always has been. I don't think we as humans can not avoid all thoughts of sadness and being troubled. I also don't see this as a lack of faith. To me I will always miss my precious husband and the Lord understands that. That's what the "Footprints in the Sand' are all about.

Glad you posted this, I was 'troubled' about being 'troubled'.

I'm at 15 months and I still have many grief bursts, some weeks are worse than others and special dates, or events or perhaps it is just something as simple as a food or song that was special for us trigger them unexpectedly. i did not go to church for a long time, not because I'm angry or anything like that. It's just that there is something about being in church and listening to mass that made me cry from beginning to end. Maybe it is that my husband was such a firm believer, or maybe it is just the awareness of heaven while I'm in church, I don't know, I can't really put it into words. What I'm trying to say in a rather roundabout way is that while I am able now to go to church regularly again, Easter has been a difficult time, and it has added to the sadness which I'd been feeling lately.

Hi Laura,
I know exactly how you feel. It has been 13 months for me and the slightest thing can send me into outbursts. Music, a special occasion, or sometimes nothing at all.
I believe the first year we are in such a state of shock that we are more able to "accept", but then suddenly, we are brought into reality. You realize that your whole world has changed and that you will be alone forever, that this is your life now.
I do not "expect" to feel better any time soon, that's just too much pressure to put on myself. Take it day by day, special occasion by special occasion and let it take as long as it wants!
My love to you, Mo

Wizmo, glad to see you back, and thanks to you and everyone for your input. I really do know that this is going to take a long time but I keep thinking the crying part should all be over by now. Patience has never been my strong point; at least I know I am not alone. Thanks for that reminder. laurabp

It will be 10 months for me this week and I feel like I am going backwards. The crying seems to be getting worse lately, the hopelessness is almost unbearable at times. I just want it to all stop. I keep thinking things have got to get better....but when? I thought I would be soooo much better by now, but I feel so alone, and so unconnected from things. I went on a trip with my kids to get away from it all for awhile and thought that it would help, but it didn't. Not sure where to begin, or what I can do to make things better. I read on here that others are still struggling as well.

My husband has died 20 months ago. I agree the past few months have been almost worse than the first yrar. He had Cancer(mesothelioma). Was fine in Dec2007 and gone in June 2008.I guess the first year I was in shock. I was dumbfounded when this second grief burst hit. I think I was trying to go on as we did as a couple and realized there was no longer a we, just me.Just makes one want to run and hide, not start over. God Bless.Glad to know other people have to same "grief bursts" I thought I was going crazy or something. prayers are with you

Laura - I have them, too. The grief bursts come out of nowhere, half the time - I just try to ride them. It's not as intense as the first year, but emotionally just as difficult. I don't think they'll ever really go away. It's just intense sadness, which translates into tears. Music affects me, too. Hugs, Marsha

You are experiencing "bursts" and I have just experienced some unexpected anxiety.(it is 15 mos) This Easter has been a sad one for me also, I don't know why. Maybe because my husband used to help prepare holiday meals--at one time it was both our mothers, son and family--now both mothers and my husband are gone. I hope all this sadness passes soon for us all. I think the first year we are in shock or too busy taking care of business. Now these thoughts just pass through our heads unexpectantly.

Laura, I'm almost into a year and yes, I have them. I have accepted that I will always have them. My tears are a way of honoring the love I had for that precious man. The saying that you grieve as hard as you loved is so true.

Some will say I'm crazy but I feel his presence every day. He is owing up to the inscription on my necklace that he would always be at my side. I know my DH is for he didn't want to leave me. I sometimes think that my DH grieves for losing me as much as I have grieved for losing him. We both just have to be patient, live the best we can in both our worlds, and know that there is day where we will reunite and never be parted again.

And in saying this, the tears are coming.