Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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wontgetfooledagain 09/22/2016

i lost my husband of 10 years four months ago. It was both of our second marriages. His children from his first marriage did not speak to him ever in the dozen years I knew him. Now that he is gone they want to know what Daddy left for them, when am I selling the house so they can have their share...etc. I told them that his wishes in his will stated that everything went to me. Now they are going to contest the will. This is not a huge estate, just a 3 bed room house in a middle class neighborhood, a couple thousand dollars in the bank. I spoke to our estate lawyer about it, she says nothing to worry about, just an inconvenience. How do you deal with such ugliness?

Tia

Khis 09/23/2016

Oh that is a tough one, but I am sure not uncommon, hopefully someone her can relate and give you support. But it sure makes you wonder why they feel after 12 years absent from his life they are still entitled to his estate ;(
I hope it all goes well for you.

BCHRISTINA 09/23/2016

Hi, I am sorry for your loss. I have not logged in in many months, and decided to login now and saw your posting. Its crazy because Im dealing with something so close. I lost my husband 3 years ago, we also did not have much, a 3 bedrooms house, but the second he died, ex wife (mother of his 2 kids) starting asking about selling the house and giving their share and this fight is still going. You have zero reasons to worry, they can not change the will. It's sucks because you need to pay the lawyer and all, but the best way to deal with it, is ignoring. Ignore phone calls, ignore emails, text messages, or any other type of communication. You have to deal with your pain and your lawyer is getting paid to deal with this problems. So if they wish to have any answers, simple reply "talk to the lawyer". Dont kid yourself. They will make you look like a greedy person, and most likely say awful things about you to set you off, just let it go. Your husbands thoughts about you are the only ones that matters! xo

wontgetfooledagain 09/25/2016

BChristina, if this goes on for 3 yrs I will such a mess! This is prolonging my grieving preventing me from moving forward. I have also heard from the ex wife, she wants to make sure her kids get a cut. I told her I am going to abide by his wishes but if the kids wanted a token of their father I would be willing to send them a recent picture. She was infuriated. I hung up. I have blocked all their phone numbers and social media.

tim57 09/26/2016

Aren't families great. Either they can't be found or they are too much there. Unfortunately this goes on all the time. What's in it for me? Personally I have never had any interest in what someone has left me. Just the fact they have left is all I am concerned with. And how much I will miss them. Your husband's wishes will over ride other folks greediness. Been thru this before.
Aren't some families great??
Take care, Peace, Tim

BrokenGeo 09/26/2016

I replied to a post like this several years ago and I'll say the same thing I did then.
I don't give advice because I don't know everything involved, BUT, If in the will you were explicitly designated as the sole beneficiary, if it were me, and they were to contest the will, I would threaten them with a countersuit to recover from them all my legal expenses incurred by me in defending the will.
Just my thoughts and instinctive reaction to your dilemma , Geo.

luckydaughter 09/26/2016

Wow so sorry you have to go through all of this on top of a great loss. I agree with the others.....If he left the estate to you there is not much they can do. Hang in there. Sylvia

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