Ahhh, I love the positive twist that shows confidence in the judgment of the person who is grieving. We all know that confidence seems to take a huge hit after a loss, so it's nice to see this positive, alternative comment. Thanks for sharing. TJ

I'll have to get that. I hope everyone reads it, we can all do without those less helpful comments. Thanks for posting, Hug, Donna

Can you tell me who wrote it? I've got the UK version of Good Housekeeping for December and it doesn't appear to be in it. :(

Thanks, Martha

The article is called, Finding the Right Words, by Elinor Lipman. It also refers to a book on the subject called The Art of Comforting by Val Walker.

The article actually starts on page 151.

I love Good Housekeeping mag. It is my favorite. I am actually 2 mags behind in my reading. Have November and December here at work to read at lunch time and haven't picked them up yet.

Thanks for sharing. I'll have to cut that article out.

Some of us do not have that choice. We need to feed our kids. I have shown houses with the baby in his carrier and no one seems to mind. Getting back to work is NOT a choice, but survival.

Maggie

Have to agree with Maggie, here. Went back to work 2 days later - who the hell was going to pay my mortgage? Survival mode at its finest...although I don't remember a lot of it, I did it. There was no other way.

The part about going back to work was an example from the article. The first sentence was what not to say. The second sentence was a better thing to say.

The article is not about when you should go back to work. It's about the way to speak to a person in mourning.

Truhal, well said.

I'm sorry, Tru, I was harsh. And it pretty much had nothing to do with the article - it just set me off. It was about me, and not you - you know I love you, sweetie, and I didn't mean to hijack or offend.

No offence taken, Marjoe. I just wanted to make sure you didn't think I said it. The editor on this site changed my spacing, so it didn't appear the way I wanted it to.

Tru

I will have to pick up a copy. My Mom is driving me crazy! She is also a widow of 3 1/2 years and apparently has forgotten what it was like. If I mention that something made me sad or cry, her response it pick up your bootstraps and move on. There is a family friend who lost her husband the same week that Bill passed. Mom says Bonnie cries too much, I say it's o.k. for her to cry. I get the sense that she thinks I should just drop in in-laws. We have always celebrated holidays like Thanksgiving and Easter together Now she does not want to celebrate with them. Talk about hijacking...anyway, Mom will be getting a copy of the article!

Dar

I can relate, Dar. My father told a man who'd just lost his son that it was his fault his son had died of alcoholism. 'You didn't raise him well,' he said. The man who died was forty years old, old enough to handle his own life.