I haven't dealt with that yet. My husband passed away 2 weeks ago today. I have decided that I am going to reach out to other widows and see if they want to do things together. Al and I had a ton of couple friends. I am the first to lose my partner, so now I have to find new friends. This is just unimaginable. I am so lost as to what God wants me to do with the next 20 years of my life.

Hi Liz,
I an not an extrovert type either. My husband was the extrovert, so he was the adventurist one, who completed my personality.
I am learning that nothing ventured is nothing gained. Now you can take time for you, and remember all the things you REALLY like to do.
Pick one thing and go for it! Start somewhere it least.
I also feel a bit abandoned by friends. Couple friends left us a while back, when Ben's illness became too much. So I hear you, it can get lonely.
You really are in my thoughts. Just know that we will be ok.

BIG hugs to you,
Sandra

Hi Liz, I'm a male and didn't dine out alone until about 9 weeks after. I remember hoping that no one would be there that we knew and if so, they wouldn't want to "visit". Drive thru eating isn't the healthiest option but it's better than ramen noodles & microwave popcorn all the time;-)

85 days for me since husband passed. I work so it is nothing unusual for me to stop at a restaurant and eat alone. No one seems to pay much attention so I would suggest maybe a smaller restaurant for lunch maybe and take a book or tablet with you so you don't feel conspicuous, but start small and then see how it goes. This journey is a big adjustment, but we can get through this. Good luck.

Liz, I'm so sorry you are faced with this. I have been a widow nearly 5 years and eating out alone is still not something I will do very often. I bet those friends of yours would never regard joining you for a bite to eat as a bother. At this stage in your grief they no longer know what to do for you. They will take their ques from you, so let them know that you want a meal out with a friend. Most will jump at the chance to be with you. Take care, Lori

I also hibernated at home, fearful of going out to eat for my own feelings of feeling like "that poor thing. " I began going to a small restaurant by friend's brother owned. It was more comfortable and I moved on to coffee at Starbucks or Panera Bread. Reading at Barnes and Noble was also a start. Take it slow. Sharon

I wish I had really good advice for you. It is tough. My friends have also moved on with their lives (as they should) but even when they do ask it is hard as I am the third, fifth, seventh wheel since they are all married. For example, went to dinner last night with some co-workers and their spouses....they are the nicest people but it was very uncomfortable for me. I was grateful for the invite but sooooo wanted to retreat to my home. The hardest place for me to go alone is church. I cry every time. My husband was a music evangelist and we went to different churches together every Sunday so he could give a concert and/or lead worship.

It has been said several time in this group that our address books change. I am trying to expand mine to include other widowed/single people to have dinner with, see a movie, etc. There is a website called meetup.com...it is NOT a dating site but rather a site for people with similar interests to meet....examples of groups range from professional groups, to Christian groups, Euchre, hiking, cycling, wine tasting, etc....this may be a way to meet other people to do things with.

Again, I am sorry I do not have better advice. You are not alone in feeling this way, I promise.

Hi Liz,I understand what you are saying. It is much easier for me to
stay home then go out but I am trying to step forward. My coworkers and family have been great . I went out and ate lunch by myself for
the first time the other day. I am trying to get involved in some activities at church as a way to reach out become involved but it is hard. Hugs to you. Julie

I often see single diners eating at the bar of many restaurants (you're not required to drink alcohol to do that). As mentioned, take a cell phone with you - everyone it seems these days are staring into those damn things...

You have some nice hiking areas around Superstition Mtn that could break some monotony.

I was thinking about the possibility of trying to arrange a gathering of some sort for all the DS people that post in here that live in Arizona.

I was a flight attendant prior to my Tim passing so I was comfortable going out to eat alone.
Take something to read and don't be shy to people watch.
You can always order take out from your favorite places.
Hugs, Sandi

When I first started going out alone I felt better at a buffet where I did not have to interact with a server and I did not have to sit alone waiting for my order, just got my food , ate it and left.

I have NOT dined out alone, yet! Every Friday Morey and I would pick a different restaurant and go out to dinner. I miss doing that. We'd dine with friends and family on the weekend but mostly on work nights it's home and eating in.

I have lots of female friends and business assoc. who have asked to go to dinner and of course, there's the obligatory family invites. But, if any of you are in the L.A. area write to me, I'd love to meet you for dinner.

I don't have widow friends.....I'm the first in my group and it would be nice to share some feelings that only "we" would understand.

Roz

The first time I dined out was at a casino buffet - oddly enough there were quite a few "lone" diners - so I didn't feel so bad. I don't know if you work or not - but either way - try going out at lunch. You'd be surprised how many people eat alone at lunch time. Just today I went to lunch and three booths in a row were us "ones". As suggested here take something to read, a book or paper or whatever. I sometimes catch up on texts or play a game on my phone.
A lot of restaurants have bars where you can eat too. If you're comfortable with that - try it. You'll probably end up sitting next to someone anyway and it will call less attention that you are alone. Sometimes the people and bartenders are friendly and will even strike up conversations with you. Sometimes not - but you never know.
Are there places you used to frequent? Where the waitresses know you - it helps to go somewhere you feel comfortable.
I say try the "easiest" things first - lunch time - off times. I haven't yet gone into a restaurant during a Friday night rush - but one of these times - maybe.
And sometimes - plenty of times - I just can't face sitting in a restaurant myself - so I get a carry out.
Good luck to you and many hugs

One of our favorite restaurants, California Pizza Kitchen, is in a mall not too far from me.
My husband and I would usually go for lunch on a Sunday.
It took me a while to go out to eat alone. But one day I was at the mall and thought why not?
I had lunch alone, and I felt fine doing it.

Taking a book is a good idea, something to pass the time while waiting for your food. Or even getting take out is a nice treat.