This past friday I thought I was going to have to spend it by myself so I pushed myself to try and find someone to do something with.  My first try wasn't successful but I wasn't going to give up.  I called a couple my husband and I were close to and invited myself to dinner out if they were available.  Turned out I had a very nice time and two other couples I knew joined us.  I don't feel self conscious about calling someone for company.  Of course it has to be someone I know is truly my friend.  You learn this not too soon after you become a widow.  On Saturday I went to my daughters for dinner after church and played some poker with their son.  He's a joy.  Today (Sunday) was nostalgic for me.  Sometimes I walk around the house and look for memories.  I went in the hall closet and my husband's caps were on the top shelf.  I tossed most of them except the Marine caps.  I can't bring myself to let go of those yet.  Everyday I have to take a deep breath and move forward no matter how hard it is.  It's called perseverence which is what my husband had alot of and I try to hang on to that thought.  Thanks for listening.  Marilyn