Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Joe's and my anniversary is Oct. 14. Every year we went to his home in Virginia (we live in FL) to celebrate our anniversary, see his large,loving family, and enjoy fall leaves at their height in the mountains there. We were going to retire parttime there, had bought a little house, then cancer came and stole him away. He died at 66. We never got our retirement. We sold the house and the closing was the day he died, Dec.18, 2009.
My question to all of you is, I am thinking of going back by myself this year for our anniversary week. I absolutely love his family and they me. I absolutely am in love with the place where this family all grew up and lived. We spent every one of our vacations there. It was such a treasure and we have tons of pictures. I so long to see the mountain streams, the colored leaves, the family, the ice cold rivers that our dog used to walk in with me.
When I think of going, I feel pulled as if by a strong magnet. Then fear sets in and I think I would cry the whole time I was there. The family very much wants me to come and stay with them. There is no way to tell you how much this place is like a home to me. I loved it like I loved my husband, so very much!!! I so want to go but I am afraid. Joe has not been gone a year yet. Has anyone of you had to make a decision like this? Any other thoughts? Thanks.
My question to all of you is, I am thinking of going back by myself this year for our anniversary week. I absolutely love his family and they me. I absolutely am in love with the place where this family all grew up and lived. We spent every one of our vacations there. It was such a treasure and we have tons of pictures. I so long to see the mountain streams, the colored leaves, the family, the ice cold rivers that our dog used to walk in with me.
When I think of going, I feel pulled as if by a strong magnet. Then fear sets in and I think I would cry the whole time I was there. The family very much wants me to come and stay with them. There is no way to tell you how much this place is like a home to me. I loved it like I loved my husband, so very much!!! I so want to go but I am afraid. Joe has not been gone a year yet. Has anyone of you had to make a decision like this? Any other thoughts? Thanks.
Carol
PLEASE LET US KNOW, IT SOUNDS SO BEAUTIFUL!!
JUDI
My husband died about 10 days before Joe so I'm in the same time space as you in this journey. I am going to Maryland in September - to see the turning leaves, friends, ocean, observe my birthday, eat some great seafood and cry buckets of tears. I know I will feel like I'm in a puddle however, I also know there is a strong magnet pulling me there.
It's a part of your life too. Just because Joe isn't with you physically doesn't mean he is not with you. You have many happy memories of the time spent there. Our healing is not just about the grieving, it's also remembering the good times and wonderful memories.
This quote says it all for me.... "And the ache is always there, but one day, not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life."
If your heart tells you to go to Virginia go.....don't let your fears stop you from honoring your gift of life. So what if you have to take four boxes of tissues and your face is puffy and red. That's life....as we are living it in this moment.
Take care,
Karen
Enjoy your trip. Sharon