Kelly, weekends, especially Sundays, are hard for most of us. It's been a little over a year since my husband died and I'm having a rough day today. Sundays we were always together. Even if he was watching a game and I was reading or doing something else, we were together. No one who has not been through this understands. They do think that after a few weeks or months we're "over it". Six months is still early, and the pain can be excruciating. Grief takes en enormous amount of energy. Maybe your body just needed the sleep. I assume you get out during the week. Right now you just need to take care of yourself. It's okay to be hurt or even angry that others are out having fun while your life has come to a stop. It will get better for you, but it's a slow process. Know that all of us here know your pain, and we're here for you.
~ Linda

Just at my year mark...In the beginning I couldn't even get out of bed...let alone function...now I am trying to take each day as it comes...one step at a time...it does get better and the pain does subside...but the memories and the wanting will always be there...I now know that I must make the effort everyday to do something for myself...after all that is who I am left with...my friends are still here but they have also gone on with there lives..I don't reach out to them as much as I should but I am very much a person who waits for others to call instead of my being the one to call...that being said I can stay in my home isolated and alone or choose to get out there and begin again...I will always love him he will always be a part of my life no matter where the road takes me but for now I must make a new life...for you it is still very early in your grief and you need to do whatever makes you happy...it will come in time just don't rush it...that was my problem I wanted it over too soon and I just made it worst for myself...hugs to you..

Oh yes. I was very angry too. I was even angry when the leaves here in the northeast began to change from green to beautiful reds, orange and gold. How dare the world go on when my life felt like it was ended! Only here with you can I say that and know people will understand.
I would like to change, but the truth is that you will. You will learn to handle the loss that is so very overwhelming now. Hugs, Sharon

Would like to say it will change. ...is what I meant. Sharon

I guess I have only experienced the anger toward myself for all the things I should have done. I know Im not supposed to do that but I can't help it. I am to the 17th month mark. People still think I should be better and to that I say "wait until it happens to you"

I still hurt, cry, miss him, and all the other millions of emotions and if I have learned one thing its to let those emotions happen. Take care of your self

Hugs
Lisa

I also lost my husband very unexpectedly he went to work and did not come home again, there were no good by's or telling him how much I loved him he was 52, there has been many years passed and I still can not get past loosing him, I feel abandoned and it just makes life hard every day. Donna

I see so much in his post that is familiar to me.

I have just turned 70 and she has been gone a little over
six months. For the first time in my life, I don't want to get
up in the mornings. I am awake and the German Shepherds
want to go outside and I need to feed the horses and I must
get up and go to work on weekdays. But, I know when I get
up that I am going to walk through our home and her chair
shall be empty. She was always up before me. I get up now
and have to make the coffee. She will not be sitting at the
table with me for morning coffee for an hour or so as we
did for 31 years. We would always discuss plans for dinner
and whether I would stop for something or she would go to
the store during the day while I was at work. No discussions
about plans for the coming weekend. Now, I have started
jumping out of bed and splashing cold water on my face as
a sort of ritual to force me to face the reality of the situation.

All my family, friends and neighbors have moved on as it
has been a little over six months and I suppose they think
I am " better " now. I have given up trying to understand
the lack of support. I do know I shall not be vindictive. When
it happens to any of them ( God forbid ), I shall be there for
them as long as it takes. You see, I am going to " grief
school " and, for the first time in my life ( despite losing
other loved ones in the past ), I have a very, very clear
understand of what grief can do to the mind and the body..

Someone in this post mentioned the " should haves ". I
can say the " should haves " and " could haves " have been
one of the most challenging areas I have faced over the
past six months. Despite the fact I was deeply in love with
her and loved her from the deepest depths of my soul, I
" should have " been more affectionate, more comforting,
more loving, more understanding and the list goes on and
on. The " whys " are a part of that process. " Why " didn't
I hug her and kiss her before I left for work that day ? " Why "
didn't I see something / anything that would have given me
a hint that she was going to have a heart attack ? " Why "
did she have to go ? She was only 53. Why ? why ? Why ?

I have not been angry with God or anyone but myself. I
suspect it is the " should haves ", " could haves " and
" whys " at the root of the anger. I am slowly, very
slowly, moving toward the conclusion that I had no choice
or options. With a 16 year age difference, she lived in
absolute fear of me leaving her behind. Now, I know she
will never to have to arrange my funeral or go through
what I am going through. Her faith was very, very strong
and I believe she is happy and surrounded by love. I am
going through this and it is the last great thing I can do for
the woman that I loved ( and still love ) with every fiber of
my being. It is difficult to accept but, in my mind and my
heart, I know she will never have to go through this for me
and I would never, ever want her to have to go through this
nightmare. Even if I have to be without her for a period of
time until I see her again, I would rather that I go through
this than have her suffer like this.

Blessings to all -

Darrell
ave to sort out my clothes
and there will be no joking between us as she pushed me to
wear certain shirts and I would .

You got me at the coffee..my husband would never leave in the morning without prepping my coffee. He would put my cup, spoon and sweet n low on a paper towel and all I had to do when I got up was press a button. It is 10.5 months and you know,,,that is still the worst moment of my day. I go to the coffeepot and sometimes just daydream looking at it and realizing another day I have to make my coffee.

My heart heavy reading all the wonderful tributes to our spouses. Yes, Sundays seem to be the hardest for me too. Attending church alone very difficult for me, but I try to keep positive. Weekends we were always together going out to a movie and dinner, doing something fun or just doing nothing at home, but together. Coffee - wow that is another hard one. My husband always made the coffe or had a cup of coffee ready for me when I got home. I still can't make a cup of coffee here and it will be two years. I look at the coffee pot and just turn away... So if I want coffee, it is off to Starbucks. Whatever it takes to get through the day, just do it. Don't be hard on yourself. This is the hardest journey we will ever go through so be gentle with yourself. I try not to be judgmental on what people think where I should be or what I should do because they don't understand. I just try to keep moving and be engaged in life as much as possible. My most fulfilling thing I do is to visit a lady who is on hospice care. So much love is given to me and it is a comfort. Much peace.