Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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icezam19 01/14/2013

Anybody else getting sick of themselves?

When Bill was around, my confidence was waaay up there.

So when we talked (granted, I did most of the talking) he listened!! And responded. His listening validated me and gave my comments actual merit. Looking back, he helped me to feel normal.

Now, I talk to myself - yuk. And me says............."you're nuts."

So I miss the sanity my sweet husband brought to our house lol

BTW, thanks penntehe63 for the phrase gettig on my own nerves in an earlier post

deleted_user 01/14/2013

I share your thoughts. I liked annoying my wife, and it took a lot to make her lose her cool -)

deleted_user 01/14/2013

It's so interesting you should mention this. I had that feeling very quickly. I'm over it now. But I remember showing concern for someone's personal problems a few months after my Bill died and my response was "I'm sick of my own s#*t. Sick of being in my own head al the time. I'm ready to listen to somebody else's problems."
It was very cathartic to just come out and admit that I was tired of my sad thoughts.
Now I have my dog, whose job it is to nod and agree with me. She does a fine job.

Shrn 01/14/2013

I went through it also. Found a cure in reading a book. Must have read a hundred books in those first years. Sharon

deleted_user 01/14/2013

I know I'm sick of myself!! I'm sick and tired of thinking, I'm sick of being sad but it seems I can't over come that, I'm sick of talking about how I feel but when I do I feel better. I hope one day I can find the person that my husband feel in love with, I know I'm in there some where:)

deleted_user 01/14/2013

Newly widowed here. I don't know what to do with myself. All I do is watch movies on TV. And sleep alot, hoping to dream of her. She was my coach when I was going to night school, learning electronics.
I could come home and describe a diificult problem and how I managed to trouble shoot it, and she understood enough of it, and there was always "I knew you could do it". I miss that. Now if I come up with the brilliant solution, there's no one to share it with. and I miss that. She was my best friend.She had my back and I had hers. It's like she rode shotgun for me.

penntehe63 01/14/2013

Hi there...I'm glad that you can relate to me "getting on my own nerves"!!! I've been changing my mind on so many big and small decisions, that it really did make me wonder if others noticed, too.

Unfortunately, they did...but luckily, my family and friends have been very understanding of my 'odd behavior, and still care'.

If I had adopted a kitty-cat each time I said, "I'm getting a cat this weekend. Losing my Lucy-cat, just months after losing my Ed, is too lonely", there would now be more than 101 cats in my house!

You wrote my exact feelings, too..."I miss the sanity my sweet husband brought to our house"...words so true. I was the whirling dervish, doing all the talking, making him and others laugh...while he remained calm and was my 'Rock of Gibraltar!

But let's keep the faith, we've made it this far on our own. Please give yourself credit. We're not nuts (maybe a little eccentric?), but I guess we're as normal as anyone can be when facing life without our DH beside us.

Yes, I think this coming weekend I will definitely get another cat.......seriously.

Gentle hugs,
Nancy

jerseydebbie 01/15/2013

No, I can't say that I am. I rather enjoy being alone, and the cat is a substitute for my husband.

I talk, she listens and understands.

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