I think you need to stop and give yourself time to grieve. I think it is way too soon to be parting with stuff. He has only been gone a couple weeks, right? You need to just stop and take care of you and not worry about the "stuff" for now - you are not going to be clear-headed enough to deal with this for awhile yet. What is the hurry? And unless it was specifically willed to someone else, then everything that was his is now YOURS. You don't have to part with it. Especially anything that was collectible, it may be more valuable than you are able to recognize right now, and if you get rid of it, you may regret that decision later. Just want to make sure you are providing for you.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Ive also been grappling with What do I do with all of her stuff? She had an enormous amount of stuff. Most is packed in boxes in the basement. She loved antiques, depression glass, that sort of thing. Stuff I will NEVER do anything with... Trouble is, I have no idea what is valuable and what is not. My sentimental attachments are with things we shared, together. All of her boxed up stuff is from her past. It was previously stored in her ex-husbands house (her former house). I finally got her to get it all moved into our house, as she put it off, due to inability to deal with the stress of moving it all. Getting rid of it, although it seems wrong, is something I will have to do, eventually.

Listen to Martha! Please give yourself time. I have parted with possessions but on my own terms and my own time. Unless you are going through probate there is no rush. Even if you are going through probate there is no rush. Think about what you want to do. I still have a train collection, a Harbor Lights collection and a baseball card collection. I am four years in. I will probably part with portions of the collections at some point in time but to the right person for the right reasons. Take a breather and concentrate on you.
Hugs,
Val

I am at week 9 and I haven't gone through the first thing! I left it just as it was until I fill better. I have focused on getting me to function at work and home. I have plenty to get rid of and like others have said on here, I don't know how to get rid of it or the value of it. Eventually, I will start getting rid of vehicles, but for the most part does it really hurt the items to just stay where they are until I am emotionally ready.

I overwhelmed myself at first about all the things I need to sort through and get rid of. I tried to slow myself down and say who cares its not going anywhere. I don't want to wait too long, but I need some time. I am too emotionally attached right now. He loved his stuff and worked so hard for it and no one else is going to appreciate it like he did.

I still feel in shock that he is really gone, his smile, his laughter, his support, an arm around me a special look. This is so very hard!! His Birthday is Monday..how to honor him...

I agree with Martha, give yourself time, lots of time.
Is there a reason you have to clear out things so quickly?

I don't want you to wake up in a few months and regret getting rid of your spouse's belongings.

Train collection? I hope you received a good price on that collection.

Themaster ... please get everything appraised. Depression glass and antiques can be worth a lot of money. Take your time, please don't give anything away without a lot of thought.

Too many times we are not thinking clearly in our grief, and it's easy to make a bad decision.
Unless you're forced to move, please wait before you make any decisions.

Hugs,
Janie

Ray's mom passed in 2008, I still have a lot of her items that Ray didn't want to sell. 1800's China, depression glass, RailRoad items. I had buyers but Ray didn't want to sell them. For me they just take up garage space. Now I can't part with them. Soon but not now.

I did have to sell his 2012 BassBoat right away. Winter and boats' need to be ran or the motor will freeze up. So a friend took it and delivered it to a dealer to sell. Unfortunately haven't had the gumption to call and see if it sold yet.

Traded his 4-wheeler yesterday. Before it left I sat on it for a long time and remembered all the times I sat behind Ray driving all over the farm. Seeing it go was hard but again motors need to be ran and I've never driven it or plan to.

Did pack his suits and dress cloths last week. Most he'd outgrown or were from way back when. Hadn't had them on for years. But his everyday cloths, nope will be with me for a long time, maybe forever..

Grief, after all, is the price we pay for love..

I feel your pain, really.

Its been a couple months for me. I've only been able to move things around, not get rid of things... except for a couple times when vodka dulled my senses.

First thing I did -got rid of most of his clothes, especially the things that were ratty and worn. Kept his good suit for a while, supposedly for my son, but realized it would be too big - I didn't want my son to get that size (50). So, out it went.
Got rid of some of his more violent videos. Didn't want the kids watching when I wasn't home. Donated all his Cricket gear and books, memorabilia to the local team.
But I still have his CDs, souvenir pens from various jobs, love letters, photos of his travels before we met, etc. eventually I will organize or distribute them out to family, but I'm in no hurry.
Take time Diamorrow. Don't rush, and don't let people push you to clear out.
I remember an episode of Star Trek, next generation, where Troy gave a widow back a box of things she was going to throw away. The widow had tossed everything out - and was so grateful Troy kept that one box for her. It stuck with me, 20 years on...
Jac.

I am picking the things that were special to me/us and keeping those. The trains are in the basement and when I go down there to do laundry it hurts me to see what he will never get to finish. The fellow boxed up some of the stuff today and it is not worth much He liked to tinker and fix things so there are a lot of things that will sell well at a flea market to someone like my husband. He does have a collection from his childhood that he wanted to sell before something happened to him. His kids dont want any of it and if something happened to me t would probably get tossed so better now I think.
I just need one place to go that is not filled with his things.

I myself did get rid of some items in the early stage. I was on a mission . I kept some clothes and some items. I wish that I had not been so quick to give away his good jeans , pants etc even though I do keep some for blanket making. As I cut through what I thought back then would be enough I can't help but think that squares made from his jeans and such would have been nice (I am making rag quilts). In the end I will have enough but I should have kept more . The suits and such I could not use so do not regret giving those away fats. We do need to give ourself time to grieve but at the same time I understand the pain associated with having something in your face all the time.

In the beginning the hurt was so bad I just wanted nothing there to keep reminding me. BUT what I did was rearranged the bedroom, and the living room just for me. That helped me cope for the time being until I could go through and deal with other things. His clothes were the same size as a good neighbor whose home burnt to the ground 2 days after my husband died. And he felt very honored to get some of his jeans, shirts and boots. it made me feel good they went for a good. Other things his kids started a mess....in the end after lawyers etc they just got stuff....stuff before we were married (1/2) and stuff I did not want I put out...junk really. TO make my point moving some things around to make it more my place because I knew that's the way it would be helped not make quick decision on getting rid of stuff. Hugs NOW 4 yrs later oh gosh a miracle I made it a garage again.

I heard a great idea recently. Take a shirt and make a teddy bear, the idea was so grandkids would be able to hug their "papa" when they missed him. My dil wanted some of his clothes to make a quit for her kids.

I guess I'm lucky when it comes to his "stuff". There really isn't anything to get rid of. We got rid of our fishing gear years ago and as his Alzheimer's progress things like his tools became mine as I took over his chores and building projects
What is left, the big screen t. V. And his collection of DVDs will be used by my daughter and granddaughter. I sent some pictures, year books, flag and family history stuff to our youngest son
What was most his/ours is the home we built together. My daughter has been wanting to build a single story home that would be easier for us to keep up and get around in and until Neal died I was all for that idea but now being in our home is still almost like being in his arms

I needed a respite, too, as did my kids. It was impossible after 30 years of shared decisions to get rid of everything that we shared - every stick of furniture, every dish, every piece of art, you-name-it - the product of joint decisions. Buit it was hard having everything staring us in the face.

So I got a beautiful tapestry box, and it became the Cliff box. I put all his very personal stuff in it - his gklasses, watches, jewelry, photos, love letters, poetry, guitar picks, sunglasses, etc. That got the out of sight but protected them for when me and our sons would be able to go through them. That box is at my feet right now as I write this. It helped to clear those things that emphasized hisn absence.

I also made "our room" into "my room." I changed out the linens, artwork, lamps, and made it different so that I would stop subconsciously expecting him to walk in, and miss him from the scene of it. It helped me sleep better, too.

You might try rearranging things in one room to give yourself a break from the reminders, a place where you can have some rest and relaxtion. It doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything, but make a space for yourself to recover. I needed it, and it was good for me to do that. The rest of the house stayed pretty much the same for a long time, just small changes, as me and our sons have a lot to adjust to already.

Hope this helps....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thanks Martha and everyone.. I am just so broken right now.
I went to the train club meeting that hubby and I would go to and I had a major meltdown on the way home and now I just cant stop crying. Why was he taken from me.....he was my life and I just dont know how to move forward.....I am miserable and alone.....