Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I have been trying to journal but for some reason my computer won't let me. I am trying to pack even though my move out date isn't until the end of September. I rented a huge storage shed and all the over flow will go in there but the problem is my kids have their own lives and they keep saying they will do everything in one day. OH NO they won't we have way too much stuff for that. If they try I will be left with a clustered mess to contend with and I can't handle another thing. I miss my husband so much and I am struggling to keep my emotions under control. My life seems like a total train wreak. From finances, to lack of sleep, no way out of this loneliness. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else but I hate being alone.
My strength died with Mike and I can't even get a piece of it back. The only reason I get out of bed in the morning is to make money for my son. He depends on me. I'm so tired of playing the "im ok and Im better" game. I SUCK. I have no energy, nothing to look forward to, why would I go out when it has to be alone?? The few friends I have disappeared. My bright idea of taking one thing at a time isn't working. I cry all the time but only when no one is around. They are tired of seeing it. I've heard of empty nest but what about empty heart?? I try to remember he picked me and we had several years together but it wasn't long enough!! Sorry for the rant and the complaining I'm just so sad and alone.
My strength died with Mike and I can't even get a piece of it back. The only reason I get out of bed in the morning is to make money for my son. He depends on me. I'm so tired of playing the "im ok and Im better" game. I SUCK. I have no energy, nothing to look forward to, why would I go out when it has to be alone?? The few friends I have disappeared. My bright idea of taking one thing at a time isn't working. I cry all the time but only when no one is around. They are tired of seeing it. I've heard of empty nest but what about empty heart?? I try to remember he picked me and we had several years together but it wasn't long enough!! Sorry for the rant and the complaining I'm just so sad and alone.
I want to have someone around to talk to and to help me but I don't want all of the "stuff" that comes with a relationship, just a "man-type person to hang with".......I totally get what you're saying.
You're also on overload right now. Nothing seems to be falling into place and if it does, there's so much to do, where do you begin? I hear you. I feel you sadness and I can relate and your "aloneness" is also being felt. I feel the same.
Some of our aloneness is really chosen, I know if I made a phone call or two I'd have someone with me but I really would rather be alone than have someone with me who's needier than me!
So, what we really want is our lives back, the way they were. I know, I know!
Roz
Saved me from a breakdown..
For journaling, are you trying a wordpress site? They work pretty easy if not.. Mine is linked in my profile.. I ramble on daily up there..
I too end up crying alone, often at night when the loneliness its the worst..
I'm a bit of an insomniac nowadays and very thankful for everyone up here i can talk to to at almost any hour.. We're here for you and understand what your feeling
Lisa