Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Forgot to take care of me

angelspeak
angelspeak
Today I took my 2 teenage boys to the doctor because they both have been sick and missed almost a week of school. Needed something to just get them over that hump. So, we went.
After the Doc had finished up with them, she turns to me and asks how I am doing?
I had been in her office a couple of weeks ago with the same stuff the boys now had and she had put me on a heavy duty antibiotic. I was over it now.
But my blood pressure had also been up at that visit. Which was unusual because I always ran 120/80.
So, today, she takes my blood pressure again and its still high. She begins to tell me that I have got to take care of myself now. I had done a good job of taking care of Jeff when he was sick, and now the boys, but I was forgetting to take care of me.

I guess I have neglected myself. I am now on blood pressure meds. I promised myself that from today on, I am going to take better care of myself.
I want to remind everyone on here to do the same. Please take care of YOU!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I agree. We always think we are doing okay. This grief business is very stressful on our bodies. Thanks for reminding us! Hope you are okay. Hugs, Dawn
msholiday282
msholiday282
I agree we are the last ones we take care of. I'll admit I neglect my health. I really don't care if I die and go with my Precious Man. I thought after seven months I might start to care, but really I don't.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i am feeling like Msholiday , i really am having a hard time caring. What i would not give to be with my husband. I have high BP and have had ministrokes years ago, i take my meds but other than that i really cant get into "ME" . I've decided if God decides, it will be his call.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is hard to want to take care of ourselves. I am also guilty of that. I am having some health issues too and really don't want to go to the doctor.
All this stress regarding financial issues also affects our health. I know that my BP is higher than it should be too, despite my meds. It is going to take a lot for me to go in to see the doctor, though. Judith
Nicker07
Nicker07
I just read in one of the books on grief that it is recommended that after 5 months time you need to get a checkup as this is the time health issues comes up. I have been having chest pains (not real pains like heart attack) just something so I need to get it.
Its been 7 months for me now so I think next week its a good idea for a good checkup.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just went to the cardiologist and gastroentologist for a full check up. I have slightly elevated blood pressure and acid reflux so once a year I go for a check. Both doctors want to see me back in 6 months instead of the usual 12 because of the added stress grief puts on one's body. If it was just me I wouldn't care - but it's not just me. I have a 17 year old at home who still needs a mom. Also, my husband LOVED me and cared about my health. The least I can do is care too.
Linda
rosyfern
rosyfern
to thegoodcook, you got to me when you said how he loved you and cared about you and the least you could do was the same. I hadn't thought of it that way before. Thanks. That was a real help. Fern
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
I know I should, and honest, I do my best to take care of myself, but I no longer do it for my own sake - I do it for the people that are still in my life who care what happens to me. If I were completely on my own, I would have a really really hard time convincing myself to do it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree we should take care of ourself which is something I didnot do I also have high blood pressure take meds it under control for now My husband died three years ago he would of wanted me to take care of me and not leave it to someone else which I did I now have control of me thanks for sharing huggskathyjo I am also sorry about your loss
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm glad you got your blood pressure under control. I ended up in the hospital and again in ER with high pressure and pulse before I woke up. Decided if one pill a day is all it takes, I'll take it. This roller coaster grief ride is a hard one. I owe it to Sherm's memory to take as good care of me as he would have. Hugs, Kathy
Parmela
Parmela
I read in a grief book right after Stephen died that a peson who loses their spouse is 900 times more likely to be hospitalized within a year after their loss than the rest of the population! 900X!

That's scary.
lindalun
lindalun
My family reminds me that I need to take care of myself. I got the flu and it lasted about a month. I am finally getting over it. I don't think any of us really cares much about ourselves. I know what I must do but at the same time all I want is to be with Carlos. I realize that my kids need me and would be lost without me but yet a part of me doesn't seem to understand. I miss Carlos that is the bottomline. What a hard road we have to travel.
julie50501
julie50501
Probably for many of us on here, the focus was so much on their health that we forgot ours. I know that was true for me. It is funny (and tragic) that we ignore our own symptoms when their health needs seem so much more important. I know I did. Then, 4 months after his death, I was diagnosed with cancer; surgery followed, and I hope I am healthy now, but with cancer, you always wonder. I have been trying to keep up with my doctor appointments, but have also had health insurance issues, so it has been hard. It is so very true that the months following their death can be very hard on your own health!
angelspeak
angelspeak
Update.
Just as I said I was over the cough and crud......its back!
So, I will call the doc tomorrow and get another round of antibiotics. I promise to do a better job of taking care of me. Because Jeff would have taken care of me if he was still here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I almost feel guilty after reading all the posts. I feel I must take care of myself, because I am responsible for my pets and the house and car and all the things that need doing on a daily basis. I learned that I had to take care of myself as a caregiver for Mac and since I had been doing that for four years before he died, I continue as if it were a habit. This trip, the doctor ordered my annual mammo, then I learn that I must take another and have an ultrasound next week. It is a worry, because I do care about living and want to be here to see all the things that he is missing so I can share them with him!