Hi I am at the 15mths mark and some days it feels like that. I too wish I could wake up from this dream. I get angry at him sometimes as he has left me holding the bag so to speak I have 3 children 2 of them still toddlers and somedays are just rough.

Its 18 months for me. At times I almost wish i could forget because remembering hurts so much. At he same time I am frightened I will forget, I know that makes no sense but its how I feel.

I have written about this before but when i saw your post I wanted to share wht I did to remember. My biggest fear was forgetting- not him or our love- but the little things- the things that make you love them. I started a journal at the top it says: Never forget; It is filled with 100 different one liners about him and i add to it all the time. My daughter contributed but can not read it. One day when she is ready her journal of memories will be there. I read it now and laugh through my tears. I had forgotten the crazy things he used to do or the overwhlming love he showed me- one entry says," never forget that after you died everyone I met said, my God he loved you so much." I had forgotten that; its been three years and our minds have a way of protecting us. I journal to him all the time but this book is only for memories and I have told my family they are welcome to add any thoughts. One day when I have grandchildren I will let them read it- then they will know what a wondeful man their grandfather was.

I think I did feel like that for awhile ~ that it was a bad dream, and he'd come walking in from work ~ but it's been 7 years for me and I guess total acceptance has finally sunk in.

I can still vividly remember my dear Dave, thank God. Perhaps it helps cause I have pictures of him displayed all over the house! I will not take them down ~ one reason being is my granddaughter lives with him, and he died when she was just 5 yrs old, and I don't want her to forget him.

I am forgetting tho, his smell. That REALLY bothers me. I just can't seem to bring it back. I wish there was some way to save these things, like photos. Hugs, Lee

Oct 1st will be 2 yrs since I've lost my husband. Yes, I was just thinking the other day that I can't remember the way he smelled when I hugged him, or some of the little jokes he played...or some of the foods he liked for dinner. I can remember his favorites, but that's about it, don't remember the day to day stuff, like exactly what time he came home from work...I know it was either 4 or 4:30...It does bother me that he seems to be fading from my memory. It's like he was a part of my life that's sinking further into the distance...and I do hate that, but I don't know how you can prevent it.

18 months for come the first of October...I was so afraid I would forget his laugh, the sound of his voice. I did forget for a while how he laughed, thru my sadness I just couldn't remember. I taped the last message he left on my cell phone so I won't forget his voice. As for his smell? I go into his closet and bury my face in his shirts...I can still smell him there. And I buy his cologne and spray it on a sweatshirt I still sleep with...Now that the shock has worn off some, and I've accepted (sorta) that this nightmare will never be over for me...I can finally bring up his laugh and the way he would look at me with such undying love...

I am at the 9 month mark tomorrow. Last week I was feeling the same way. I still have his laundry in the hamper. I put in the video from Christmas so that I could hear his voice and slept with one of his dress shirts so I could smell him. I hate the feeling that I am starting to forget......

I am only at the 5 month mark, but I am forgetting already. Yesterday, I found a hat he wore while he played his drums. It reeked of sweat (gross, I know) but I could not help but take in all in. It was his smell. I remember him coming in the house after practicing and I sent him straight to the shower because of that smell. Now I crave it...any smell of him. I wish it was only a bad dream. I want to wake up and feel him there beside me. Just one more hug...to touch his skin and feel it warm again...to feel his breath on my face.

Like Aaliya said, I keep a journal of all his personal memories. I try to remember all his sayings and jokes and cute names and sounds and smells and opinions and loves and hates and ..... Everything I can remember that was him. Only him. I never want to forget him. Its not too late.....write something everyday. The memories are still there. Write about his smell and how he looked at you, write words that will help your brain recall the memories. If you lost memories, try meditation or even hypno therapy to recover the memories. And relive the memories in your mind to keep them fresh. And dream of Marty....find him in your dreams and the memories will come back. He is STILL with you, sweet angel. Remember you two were one. Part of you died with him. Part of him lives on inside of you. God bless you. Patti

Hi,

On 11/29 it will be 7 years since my 49 year old husband Tom died suddenly from a heart attack. Over the last 7 years my life has changed dramatically with experiences including surviving cancer, and entering another relationship which has just hit the 5 year mark. It has only been recently that I have been able to think about my husband and not experience overwhelming sadness. Grief is such a personal journey, and I think sometimes when certain memories, scents, etc. fade, it may be because they are just too painful to deal with at that particular time. But as one gains strength in the grief process where recollection of memories, scents, etc. do not evoke such intense pain, they do return as if they never left you, and these recollections are beautiful and not painful.