Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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For those who are new to this board,,,..2 year an.

cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever

For those of you who are new to this place, that no one really wants to belong to...I've made it 2 years now without my sweet Sean.  Tomorrow is his 2 year anniversary of his passing on.  Ive come a long way, in one thought it seems like forever since youve been gone honey, then in the same breath it seems just like yesterday, that I found you passed away under your truck.  Ive gone through alot in the last 2 years, but nothing like the day, that you left me, to be with our lord jesus.  I will say to those who are new,  you will never move on, or get over it.  You will always be in love with and love your sweet husband/wife.  You may be able to date again, and maybe not  You may be able to give away, sell, or throw away things of your loved ones, and maybe not.  There is no right or wrong, in how you deal with the passing of your loves.  You have the right to grieve, however, and in whatever way you feel.  



I do know this,  allow yourself to feel, however you feel, don't push it down, and know that your husbands/wives, are proud of you, just keep pushing forward and sometimes just living hour by hour.  They are rooting/watching, and cheering us on from wherever you might believe they are.  DONT EVER GIVE UP!!  Our loved ones didnt leave, so that we would be sad, lonely, etc.  They left us, for some other purpose, which we may not know.  I always say, "Everything happens for a reason, we may not know, like, or understand it, but it happens regardless... regardless if we participate or not, in this thing  called life.  Yesterday was really rough, today some rough.  Tomorrow will worry about itself, when it comes, and I'm just going to keep myself busy, and concentrate on the good, funny times.  Just know that just because I'm not on here very much anymore, that I'm not reading, praying or concerned for anyone here.  I just have to deal wth my grief, how I can understand, and be ok with all that his happening around me.



I thank each and everyone of you, for your love, support and care.  Much love and hugs carla

baileyolson
baileyolson
Hi Carla! I left when the site was updated/changed. I just couldn't navigate it. Buti have been flailing. I finally realized yesterday I wwas not doing as well as I thought. I still need tge support of this group. I still haven't figured out this new format and can't post except to reply, but seeing old friends here and reading others journeys is the lifeline I needed. God bless you for your wisdom and compassion y you share.
shelda
shelda
It has been 39 years since my first husband passed away and i never forget i just learn to live with it. Never the same just learn how to live again. I had two babies then who kept me going. I never thought i would ever want or be with anyone else but it happened. Now with my second husband who has been gone almost a year i am still in the" Weird world "phase is there are such things to be "labelled". I have been having panic attacks and i remember having them before but not the same. I can not compare them as i am different. I am not sure what life has in store for me but never the less it isn't finished with me yet. Am going to get back to work and i think this is the best choice i have made for myself. I am a nurses aid right now and may continue my education or not but helping people is what i have always done. Hopefully i can help someone feel valued.
mysweetie2
mysweetie2
Beautifully said Carla, Thank you...
I'm 21 months in since losing Dennis, and for me once I accepted that Dennis wasn't coming back, and not feeling guilty because I wasn't there when he transitioned it became easier to deal with this grieve..You never stop loving them and missing them..It just becomes a different kind of Normal doesn't it? I hope your children are doing well also..
I'm like you I still have sad days and what I like to call surface tear days..but I find I more easily smile now..;_I might have missed the pain but then I would have missed the Dance of life..

Take care, Carla, peace and hugs..Gail..

"Grieving is a necessary passage and difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow..It is not a permanent rest stop"...Dodinsky...
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
Dear Bailey, shelda, and gail, Life is what we make it... and we don't always have control. So I'm learning to enjoy the dance, and yes I stumble, but then pick myself up again..Im adjusting to life without my bestfriend/soulmate. It sucks, but I'm hoping he is also proud off me, for pushing forward and making the best of what I have until I am called to go to heaven. May we all have a little joy, peace, and love until we leave this earth. with love, and gentle hugs carla.. p.s. I made it through the day, I spent most of it, gardening, let up helium balloons, with a note to sean on it. My evening was spent with our girls, watching a movie, and remembering the good times
scottito
scottito
Hot Dang girl! You just keep growing stronger and stronger. Honestly Carla, you have so helped me through the roughest of roughs, and I'm biting your heals on the 2 year mark myself. We always will have that special place in our hearts reserved for all the wonderful memories of our time together with our spouses. And I have another special place in my heart for you, my bestest of friends ever. We all must keep the hope that the our purpose here has not yet been completed, and as a mom to your 2 daughters, you have inspired me in what you have accomplished for them. Good things only are ahead for you my dear Carla. Besides, only a woman that warns me to be good by telling me that not only can she kill me in 12 seconds or less bare handed, but has a concealed weapon permit as well, has the gumption to be able to do whatever you set your mind to. As always, the piranhas continue to keep just barely far enough away from me so as not to cause any real damage. And this Tarzan just keeps going knowing that someday he will once again meet up with his Jane. Love, Scottie
AfterMom
AfterMom
Carla, our dates are so close together. 2 years will hit me in the last week of March.
You have been a real inspiration to me. It seems like you are so far ahead of me in this journey, in the strength which you show. Thank you for all that you share here, and just for being who you are.
God bless you deeply.
Barbara.
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
My dearest Tarzan. You too are an inspiration to us all. The bravery you have shown, but all the things you too have endured, has helped us all push forward, have a smile, and remember that we are in charge of our own destiny's to some extent. Thank you for the wonderful compliiments. You have and always will have a special place in my heart, afterall, you were there during the beginning of the end of my soulmates journey.... his passing. The hours we spent on the phone, just jibber jabbering, (me mostly blabberin, about a whole lotta nothin) lol. Thank you for alway being my friend. I always wish you the best like can give you. with love, carla aka jane, and the piranhas. Atleast me being able to protect myself will keep the creepos away, lmbo. Sweet dreams in jesus.. p.s. cheryl came down to meet me.. SHE IS THE SWEETEST LADY!!!!! loved, loved meeting her...
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
Dearest Barbara, thank you for the compliment, but believe it or not, you too have helped many of us feel, loved, special, and have inspired all of us to push forward. Your bravery to go through all that you have endured, give us all hope, that we all must suffer, if only but for a moment, and then there is the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for sharing a part of our life with all of us. Hope for peace, and strength for you sweet barbara.. much love always, carla
jdp
jdp
Sharing
It is so beneficial as others share in their continued journey now intertwined with grief

Care
We now must care for ourselves, in new ways to function in our changed journey

Faith
He is faithful
jdp
handg
handg
I am so proud of you Carla and each and everyone on this journey. I remember the beginning of your journey on this post and how much you inspired me with your strength even though I had was further along in my journey . Thank You for taking the time to share your progress with others. These type of progress posts kept me hoping that I too would reach a point in time when I could look back and see how far I had come.
Kudos xoxo
raininseattle
raininseattle
When love exists, it is like there is a rainbow in the sky. We marveled at the big, rich, beautiful arch of colors. We learned now that it probably doesn't exist forever but we let the sight of it burned into our memories and let it color our lives.
onebrokenheart
onebrokenheart
Carla, we have come a long way haven't we? And you are so right that it seems like forever and yet just yesterday. You are also right that we each face this grief in our own way, in our own time. There are no right or wrong ways.
I sure am glad you have been here for me and I feel so blessed in our friendship. I am so proud of you and how you have held it together even in the face of hell. You are one tuff sister!! Love ya girl!
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
Dear Jdp,hand,rain and cheryl, Everything happens for a reason... and Im so grateful you all have come into my life. Life is so short.. grasp it, hang onto it, kicking, screaming, and cursing... keep the faith, love and have hope.. I hope everyone is able to push forward, and know that you are all loved. Much love, and hugs always carla
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