I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. What you're feeling is exactly how I felt when I sold our home. Morey would have NEVER sold it. It had to be done and the tears were ALWAYS right on the edge of my heart and eyes.

I could see his face wherever I turned and although at times it was very soothing for me feel him so closely by me, it was also frightening to think that I would NEVER again see the two of us walking around this house and grounds. It' at times, deeply saddened me!

Your life mirrored mine. I NEVER lived by myself as an adult. I went from my parent's home to Morey's and my home. Morey lived by himself for a while before we met. He had experienced the independence of it all........Not me....I had NEVER been alone.

It's scary and lonely and weird all at the same time. We need to keep moving forward to continue to live our lives.

May I wish you good luck and much happiness in YOUR new home.

Warmly,
Roz

I did not move after losing Shane, but many thought that I should. At first I had been angry with their constant prodding, but after a few weeks of life here without him, I understood. Every single millimeter of this house and property held memories that were so overwhelming at times... and despite the fact that I was adamant about staying, I did find myself second guessing that choice a few times... Being here without him, where everything represented an "US" that no longer existed, and knowing that I would be here without him for the rest of my days was almost too much to handle. It has been getting more tolerable, though... as far as being here. The "without Shane" part will never stop hurting, but I can be in the house now without wanting to run out of it screaming.
Shane and I moved out of our parents' homes just months after graduating and into a home we purchased together. So, like you, I ha=d never lived alone. Neither had he. I commend you on your strength in this move, and I truly think that new surroundings will help. hugs to you, Amy

How Ironic you posted this today, because just one year ago today I left Reno for my new home. Even though I did move closer to my family which has eased the pain..... it's still there & I do miss Reno, because of the memories & it is a wonderful place to live.

I retired at 55 to be & take care of Larry, so the last 6 years we were together everyday. Oh how I miss that.

I guess the only advise I can give you, is to go for it & you know that no matter where you move, the spirit & memories of your love will always follow you & be with you.

Good luck & take care
JoAnn

We downsized to an apartment before Don was diagnosed. My daughter managed the three family house my parents had owned and had just remodeled the 2nd floor. I'm so glad we made the choice to make it our new home. I am truly sorry for you having to make the decision alone. My husband resisted the move, but it was a good choice since he was diagnosed and died less than 2 years later. Sharon

thank you all for your replies..

its definitely scary and lonely and weird all at the same time..I have to think this can only help me..while i do have good memories in this house, my "last" memory of her there was when i got home that evening..

I dont want to keep "re-living" that ; fortunately I can shut it down most days..but i can already tell that the upcoming fall/winter weather we will get will do nothing but depress me more if im still there..

Interesting that you mentioned the Fall weather and the darkness coming on so early.....because it hit me like a ton of bricks the other night as I was closing the blinds.

Soon will come the early darkness again.......it actually gave me a bit of an anxiety thing. The feeling didn't last long, not like it used to but still it did give me the "willies!"

Roz

My husband passed July 2014. I moved July 2015.
I didn't have to sell a house, I moved from one apartment to another.
I was so busy cleaning out his closet, packing, moving, unpacking, and now decorating and meeting my new neighbors. It kept my mind occupied on other things besides grief.
This was a good decision for me. I really like my new place.
I've never lived alone either, but I'm adjusting.

It doesn't matter where you go, your memories are right there in your heart.

Hugs,
Janie

I will be selliing our home.. itt sits on 7 acres, and is too much for me o manage. lukly sean had saiid we would sell our house and buy 20 acres and build a 3 bed 2 bath house. he use to say.. its not where you lve, but who you are with...so I know when I sell our home, he is in suppporrt of it. will be this coming spring..hope everyone knows.. that its not where you lve, but the memories you hold in your heart that matter. big hugs carla

It helped me, but it's different for everyone. In my case, we were renting an apartment and had lived there only a couple of years. I moved out to move in with my dad which didn't work out. I then moved back to the same apartment complex in a different unit. A year later I purchased a house.

I still grieved for my husband, but didn't find myself with a flood of memories every time I turned around.

Thanks again everyone...

i'd started up a "bigger" reply, describing things about this house that no longer make it a home without my wife, but I was just making myself sad.

So.."long story short" - I think its going to be ok..its very scary and lonely right now..I'm leaving our home..

But...I just got word a little earlier that the offer I put in on the new place in AZ was accepted..So its become real...Here comes the next chapter..

I felt the same. I went from my parent's to college with roommates and then to my sisters and then on with Ryan. The last three years of his life was spent in on our home either getting over treatment or celebrating what we thought would be the end of treatment. It was heartbreaking for me to move from that house. Now I never intended on staying in that house I also didn't expect to be out so quickly. Ryan died 12/26/14 and I was moved into my house exactly 4 months later. I only feel Ryan in the house. It is even the place he died in. I could never take him to hospice or a hospital to die there so I took him home and cared for him. And now his sister has it and is completely tearing every memory of Ryan and our life there together down and doesn't have any second thoughts about it. It is heart breaking. His parents were our next door neighbors and when I say neighbors I mean country neighbors. They ask me to come visit his "spot" in the woods all the time but I don't have any connection to him there. My connection is the house. And it is completely tore to pieces. I can't imagine being on that land since he died. I tried once for his bday in July and I had an anxiety attack and could only stay a short while.

Thank you for sharing your experience. You are only selling a house....you are NOT selling the home, that is where she is...always...hugs, Tiger

My situation is a little different , We were in the process of moving when my husband died. He picked the house I am in now ... We bought it right before he died.I had the other house on the market and had to sell it to pay this one off. I've thought about moving again but just can't go through with that so soon, I'm worn out. I wish you the best of luck. At least you'll be so busy and it will be exciting and you won't have alot of time to think and I think that's what got me through so far. Why did you pick AZ. I've looked there too. Again, Best Wishes. Valerie

I picked AZ for a few reasons..

1. Approx. 3 years ago, Melodie and I were discussing moving to a warmer area..we looked around and saw that the cost of living down there was MUCH better than up here in WA state. I promised her we would get down there..

2. The health benefits..She had breathing issues...I have knee /ankle issues..So many people retire to AZ to deal with those kind of things..In the 3 days i was down there..no knee pain..no ankle pain..

3 . Did I mention the weather? I like hot weather..I was born in Texas...lived in Louisiana/Mississippi/Texas/Florida.. Only moved to WA state when my dad was transferred for his job..

So..all those things combined, plus the fact now that it will be an entirely new area where I dont randomly run into people who knew my wife but werent aware of her passing (which still happens..she knew everyone in town around here) are why I chose AZ

For me it's been two-edged -- I don't have the constant reminders, but at the same time it took a lot to feel settled in. Of course, I didn't just move or even move cross-country, so my situation is a bit different. At least you are only going to AZ. It has been a challenge moving to another country.

Hope your moves all go well and that you find some relief.

Love and Hugs,
Martha