Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Our son came home from college and took me out to eat. We went to one of Mama's favorite places. Was nervous going in and feeling guilty as if I left her at home. Half way through I just couldnt deal with it and broke down crying. I miss my Princess with every fiber of my being. Life , to put it bluntly, sucks without her. Having people look at me in the resturant was not a good thing either. Our son helped me out and we came home. He appoligized as if it was his fault. I told him it wasnt and I just miss Mama. He does too he said.
How do you go on when everything in the future you had planned with you spouse? I find it hard to sleep, eat, leave our home, talk with people. I went to her place of work this week , and her friend/boss told me to have a Great Day. I simply replied those days are gone now. We both cried a little, and I have never been a cryer. My emptiness feels like the Grand Canyon along with that much pain. Family keeps saying it will get better and such. I just dont see how. I want to be with her, and no I am not talking about hurting myself. I am sure most of you feel some of what I said though. I just long to back with her. I want this hell to stop.
I felt every word you said. My wife Tracey died a couple months ago in my arms in our bedroom. There is a restaurant in my town that Tracy and I and my family just loved to go to all the time. I have been like a hermit since Tracey died so my father-in-law wanted to take me out, just him and I to this particular restaurant. Every time we all went there, we all got a Cadillac margarita before we ate. We did this for years. Driving to the restaurant, which is an English pub, I found it very hard to breathe. It was like I was walking the Green mile. We walked inside, and the aroma took me back to just a few months ago when we were all sitting there laughing and having a good time. The waitress brought us our Cadillac margarita, and I was kind of holding my own wondering if I was going to survive this evening. Then my father-in-law made a toast to Tracey. That was it! It was all over with! I broke down in front of God and everyone and intern my father-in-law did the same. I think the waitress kind of freaked out a little and turned around and walked the other way. This whole thing was very stupid, what was I thinking? Was I trying to torture myself? Anyway, I know exactly how you felt and what you went through. Thinking of you, Dave
Very hard, words cannot describe how hard this adjustment is. It is so hard to be happy and have your happiness literally torn from you. A part of us dies and goes with our loved one, the part that was only for them. I guess a part of us must become new, so we are able to go on and thrive, it is what our loved ones would want for us.