Your right there are many more firsts ahead. But we carry our spouses close in our hearts so they really are not that far away.
Your right Mary at 57 Mark was not old. I lost my wife at 56. I know however as you say they would want us to live life to the fullest. All the best to you on this journey. Gerald

I am with you, there are so many plans to be together as we grow old. Any step made alone now has that echo, let alone the giant leaps and special occasions.
But like Gerald echoed
" I know however as you say they would want us to live life to the fullest"
It is that, we will use to keep moving forward.

The first year we seem to concentrate or focus on the what seems like the "big" firsts - anniversary, birthdays, holidays, etc. When you spent a lifetime with someone, the firsts don't stop with the first year. I have had a few tough firsts every year, not just the first year. The big difference is that, over time and with experience, I have more confidence that I will get through the new firsts that pop up. After all, what could be worse than the very first of the firsts - the loss??

Cliff and I met when I was 20 and he was 25. He died 30 years later at 55. I wasn't quite as young as you were when you met your husband, but I know the feeling - I was so young that it does feel like Cliff and I grew up together. In some ways, everything feels like a first after that kind of time together.

It has been over 6 years, I am now 57, and I have lived longer than he did. It feels wrong in some ways. 55 was too young for him to die, and yet 57 some days feels very, very old. Those are my bad days.....

I still feel Cliff near me and with me. I sometimes wonder if he is actually there experiencing me experiencing all these novel firsts. I think he would be pleased that I am still doing the best that I can and have never given up. I still talk to him, and he still visits in my dreams. And I feel certain he led me to the new life I had and is pleased about that, too.

Mary, I think you are well on your way to living fully, and I believe that would make your husband so happy.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

My husband and I started dating at 16 also. High school sweethearts and young love. I never thought about death back then. Marriage, children, grandchildren, and finally retirement time arrived. We had so many plans and places to explore. He was 60, retired to enjoy life as empty nesters and instead was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 10 weeks later.

It's hard to find your plans are gone with the man you planned them with. Yes, I understand. We all do. :( Sharon

This post is about some of my first. My husband was 58 and died the fourth of December a few days before his birthday. So I had a lot of first quickly, his birthday and Christmas. About a month after his death, my mother in law told me that there was a lot of things I would no longer be able to do, go to a restaurant, go to a movie, travel, etc. As she was saying this, I thought to myself, Why not? I didn't feel like doing those things right then, but why couldn't I do them later on. I didn't die. I am 56 and I probably have many more years. Four months later, the atty that probated the will, told me that I didn't die, do something that will bring you joy. When I left his office I drove to a restaurant and ate alone. I almost cried looking at a couple about my age. A week later, I went to a movie, alone. I am planning a trip, alone. I am not dead. I miss him terribly, but what am I going to do? Lock myself in the house and not go out. I now realize my mother in law never goes anywhere alone, maybe the grocery store. The only way to become comfortable doing something is to do and do it again. So that is my mission right now, to challenge myself to go and do by myself.

I'm already planning on a really bad Fall & Winter this yr. Michaels birthday is Sept, then mine in Oct, then all the holidays plus a yr since his death in mid December that will all be my "firsts"
I wish I could just sleep thru all of it.