I am so sorry for the reason you've joined this group but it will hopefully help you to be here. After 2 years and 4 months I still come here for the connection and understanding you can't find anywhere else. Also now to reach out to the new people. I came here in the first few months. I needed to know others had survived. I have and you will. Never living the lives we imagined but finding a way to get through the darkness and hopefully find some light. One day at a time, one moment at a time has been the only way I've gotten through. Work has been my greatest distraction and I know I work too much but it's necessary for many reasons. We are all different and yet share so much. Keep coming here for understanding and support Marybeth

I normally don't say this, but since this is your business.

If you need to work overhours to get some stuff done, then take the time to do so. Or if it needs to take longer, then take longer. You may or may not feel you're navigating in a fog. It's during this time you really have to catch yourself not to make an emotional decision. Take care of yourself physically, and take grief breaks (without feeling guilty). Consider that maintenance work so you can keep going.

Sorry for your loss, and that you joined our sad little club and welcome at the same time.

Sorry for your loss and we can offer support. I’m sure you have responsibilities since you have your own business. Maybe try to do one or two constructive things in a day. It is 8 months and 10 days since my husband died and I still have to plan my days to stay on track.

I am sorry for your loss and the position you find yourself in. What helped me was to compartmentalize my grief to some extent. When possible, I would tell myself that I would cry later, at home, and I did. I had a high stress, very visible job, with other people looking to me and counting on me, and I didn't want to let them down. In my case, I also became the sole breadwinner, and I had to make my worklife continue.

Take your coffee breaks, and take a walk around the block to help clear your head and help you refocus.

Use your calendar/diary to help you stay on top of deadlines. And delegate - this is also a chance for the people you have been training to shine. You've probably got a couple of people who could pick up some of the load for you. It will build their experience. If help is offered, take it.

Does your company insurance cover counseling? I had free grief counseling through an Employee Assistance Program, and it helped me cope and it helped me function better at work. It also reassured my bosses and coworkers that I was doing my best ti deal with my grief, which they appreciated.

I hope this helps. Sheer stubbornness may be the only thing that gets you through for awhile. It will get easier, but it's early days for you right now. Don't give up.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thanks Martha. I am going to try to compartmentalize as you suggest. I have lots of grief counseling options. Our church has a nice option. I talked to them this morning.
I think my problem is that I sometimes think I don't want to move forward. Not sure what that is. Like I haven't accepted it yet.
In noticed this morning in church that I keep looking for Mary to give me a sign. Not sure why I need it or want it. I guess I need to know she is ok. Right now I sure wish I was more religious.

You have my sympathy for your loss. Mine is still early, I lost my husband 32 days ago. I remember him saying if he died before me he would come back to haunt me(smile) in a loving way. I am still waiting for him to visit me in my dreams or whisper a familiar word. I am lost without him and have many discussions to make. He was the sole supporter of the family and now I am looking for work to support myself and daughter who is in college. It is hard to try and go on in life without someone you have spent a life time with. But for my daughter in college and my older daughter who is expecting our second grand child this is pushing me to move forward. I do know that prayer does help when you are hurting and that God does provide peace.

I lost my husband one month ago. I start back to work on Friday. I keep a notebook beside my bed and make a list of things to do before I go to bed each night. I have never been a list maker, but I am in such a fog that if I don't write things down, I will forget. I have found that I can only do 3 major things each day that involve discussing my husband's death. After that, I am maxed out emotionally. Today, I had to meet with a financial planner. He made 2 phone calls for me while I sat there with him in the office. It helped so much that he did the talking. I completely understand the fog you are under. I wonder if it is what keeps us going right now?

I thought I would provide an update, one of hope. First, I took some advice from this blog and started a simple to do list. I don’t think I realized how my mind and my actions were just wandering. The list helped.
Then I had a very open and honest sit down with the staff. I cried. And I asked for help. I think it was something I really needed.
Then I had dinner at the house with Mary’s family this past Friday night. Definitely a healing time.
I am on day 37 today. Feeling so much better than Days 28-29. I still cry once in a while. But my thoughts are getting happier.
So there is hope!

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling. I know. It hurts.