OMG - I know exactly that feeling. Al has been gone 10 months and today all I can do is cry. I don't want to be around couples; but neither do I want to be alone.

The things we did together, like gardening, trying new recipes, going out for a special coffee, decorating for the holidays -- it all seems 'why bother'? No one will enjoy it with me.

Its got to be so hard. All my family is passed away, all i had was sean and my two girls...nothing like losing your bestfriend..now he watches over you 24/7. As time goes by the pain will never feel better, but you will be able to accept that he is not having to worry about anything..no pain, no worries. Hes able to be free. You are not alone. You have all of us.god bless..ive found i push myself to go do things and stay busy. Ive been reading alot to keep my mind busy

Hugs carla

Angie, I have just passed the three year mark. It has been my exact words to people that I am not a priority in any ones life. These words are just ignored as if I am crazy. These words are the truth, but no one wants to hear this truth. Somehow they take it personnel, when it is a fact of grief and losing a spouse, particularly if you don't have adequate support. I am trying very hard and with therapy to stop thinking about the rest of my life. Very hard to do when I have been unable to heal or connect or move on. I encourage you to try and stay connected to the support you have, even though it does not fill the gap. Better than nothing. If you hang on with the support you have, perhaps you can heal and build that new life we all wish to have. Hugs, pj1952

Thank you for this topic. I feel this way constantly. My family not in immediate area so that is a big negative. Girlfriends call and we do lots of things together, meet lots of people volunteering, but in no way do I feel my life will ever be the same, to have that special person to share my life with day to day. I am in the home we shared for 27 years - alone. Someone mentioned the holidays the other day. Wow last year was hard enough. Tonight going to a birthday party for my girlfriend, lots of couples, and will miss my sweetheart being with me. I still attend a support group and we all seem to be in the same boat, except they all have family around... This forum helps so much.

I am not sure why this happens. At first my daughter was good about making sure those special times were not so alone. And I know she has her own life etc and so does everyone else but in the beginning and even now on my birthday I feel let down after 5 years. Its just another day.

I feel the same way. Nobody loved me like Shane, and nobody made me feel the way he made me feel. This is such a miserable journey. Hugs to you... Amy

Add me to the list....

A year ago today I sold our home that we lived in for 10yrs.
In 2 days it will be my birthday (don't care about those anymore)
Moved closer to my parents & sister, but honestly they have no
idea on the grieving process & I could go on but won't.

I know that I'm so blessed to have what I do & when I see young people that have passed away at a young age, I feel guilty to have the years & love that I did...... But yet I feel so empty & lonely without him !!!

Add me to the list too

Went out off town this weekend to look at houses in Phoenix.. Was "fun" except for that part where i kept thinking "would Melodie like this place?" - except it didn't matter. Because of course she is not going to be able too share it with me. :(

Day has been mediocre at best.. Now I masking myself sad. Meh..

Add me to the list too

I feel the same way. I'm dreading my birthday this year. Christmas as well. He was my everything. Everything I planned for my future was centered around him.

I think we are all pretty much there. My husband has been gone for 10 months now. What would have been our 27th wedding anniversary is coming up in less than 2 weeks. We would have gone to our favorite restaurant for dinner and he would have taken a picture of me eating dinner with his smart phone and then proceeded to immediately post it to Facebook. It used to annoy me but now I miss even that little gesture.

I live with my two daughters so I am not "alone", but I feel so profoundly lonely. When he was alive, I always wanted my alone time because I was always a bit of a "loner" growing up. Since he has been gone, I realize I don't know how to be that way anymore. I thought we were going to grow old together.

We all understand the feeling all alone in the world even though you are surrounded by people, family and friends. It doesn't really make it any easier or less painful. I find keeping busy with work and volunteering does help briefly. It takes your mind off of it for a little while.

Your words "I'm not a priority in anyone's life" exactly describes how I feel and did not know how to express this feeling in words. I have a large and loving family and network of friends but no one is looking forward to me coming home at night, some to call and talk about my day, make plans together, to take care of me when I am sick or wake me up off the couch to tell me its time for us to go to bed. I have pretty much slept on the couch for 6 months because she is not here to wake me up. Although I am extremely grateful that for 38 years I was Jeanne priority every minute of every day as I am sure you were to your husband.

Angie, I couldn't have expressed my own emotions better than you. My Barbara who passed away in March was not just my most loving wife, a fantastic mother to my two children, but my companion, confidante and best friend. I expected the grief, but not the crushing lonliness. We are all with you and understand. So please remember you are not suffering alone, we share it with you.
Jon

Thank you all for comforting me. I can really not express how grateful I am. Your comments and support got me through the weekend. Im so glad I found this site. I didn't realize I would need it so much. Just knowing that someone else out there feels the same way I do helps.
Thanks
Angie