Garry:

My heart goes out to you! You are not a burden anymore than any of us are! It's totally unfair to say the least that your wife and my loving husband had to be taken away from us. David helped everyone that needed it and those that didn't ask for it as well. He'd just retired 3 months and 3 weeks before he passed. We had so many plans together and a future we figured (at least I did) for another ten to twenty years. I cleaned out his dresser - most of socks and underwear that we'd just bought and dropped them at goodwill. He was a packrat to say the least and would pick things up to fix no matter what they were. LOL! I've taken some to the dump just because I can't fix it and I don't know anyone else that would. I can't get rid of anything else of his. I saw one link that you can take shirts of your loved ones and have them made into a quilt. This might be an idea for you. I'm going to do it with my husbands T-shirts and stuff when I'm ready to part with them. I still have his clothes that he wore the day he passed. I have his had he always wore up by his pillow and I smell it once in a while. Going to put it into a zip lock bag to save his scent a little longer. I was on his FB today, when I found a ALS Ice Challenge video their. I couldn't help but cry when I watched it again. It was three years ago. But, gods to hear his voice again even though I can hear it in my head all the time still. Shook me up a bit! People say life is unfair. I've lost my grandparents an good friends. But, nothing has sent me through a loop like this has. I had no time prepare - it was over before it started. I miss him so damn much and I feel so lost and lonely even with friends an family around. Plus, I have the added issue of having to find a place to move too in the Spring. I feel like this vise cold grip around my heart at times. Other time's it's not there but still it hurts so damn badly. I feel like if I let the pain completely out an the anger out, I'll whither away and not be able to come back out of it and then reality that this is all true will hit me and my prayers of him to come back to me will be for naught. But, I know this is stupid because his ashes are next to my side of the bed. Parts of him donated to give someone else the power to see and walk and live. But, it's only been six weeks for me and everyone tells me it'll get better in time at least to a point where the pain won't be so bad. But, I honestly can't see how that is possible. If I could go to to where he's at and bring him back to me I would and I'd bring all of Hell with me to do it! It's how much I love and miss my husband! Thinking of you Garry!

I'm so sorry Garry, I know this journey can be devastating at times.
Just know we are here for you.
Hold on, be kind to yourself, keep posting,
Gentle hug from Sandra

Its so, hard going through their things. I've not really went through much yet. I've not been able to sleep in our bed and rarely go downstairs where we spent most of our time. I did wash another bed set that we never used together, but haven't had the nerve to change it over yet. Sometimes I feel if I go through things he will be watching from above and it makes me feel awful. Silly I know!

He was also young,43 I pulled one of his shirts from the closet to sleep in and it smells just like him so of course I've been a mess since.

Know your not alone on this hard journey. Hope you have a better evening.

I am so sorry Garry. Please know that you are not alone.

Ruth

Garry ,I'm going thru my husbands things as well. Not easy at all!!, The only thing I have been able to throw away is his toothbrush. But his hair still remains on his hairbrush. His cologne, his razor, even his body sponge scrubber. I cannot part with them yet!!.I'm short selling our home in 7 days, and also going thru all his tools in the garage is painful. I knew how much he valued them , It's been 10 weeks today.
No words can ever describe how sad we feel. But in reading all the posts, they say it will get easier. I pray easier gets here quick. I look and feel like the man in the Psoriatric picture.
Many hugs and love to you.

Patty,,the site to make a quilt out of shirts is: projectrepat.comI had a beautiful quilt made
Garry,,Got you on thisit is almost 9 months but struggling to go thru his clothes..Initially I a gave his belts to most of his very close friends, and he had a ton of ties which I gave to all our nephews, close friends, and saved a fewI took a picture with approx 15 of our male family with his ties around their necks,,,love that photoI still have his draw with his personal belongings in his bathroom, haven't been able to part with them..Should we part with them??? not sure if it would help us or notanyone feel better after cleansing their personal belongings????

Be kind to yourself. Do only what you are ready to do in that moment and don't judge yourself too harshly.

You aren't alone, I still sleep in a chair or on the couch, only enough cleaned up to function so far.

Oh and yes I'm a widower as well.

I can't even get comfort from having a quilt made of his shirts.
It would torment me. the closeness of his clothes.
I must pass on that idea.
It's amazing how different we all are.

PS:
but I wear his old t shirts. how weird is that?? but the difference is, I ALWAYS have. so it is normal.
A snuggle quilt would feel emotionally different to me. because it is BECAUSE he is gone.
I am crazy.

It's only been 8.5 months for me and I am trying hard to focusI feel like I need to start moving forward in the new year because I cannot go on the way it has been. I am thankful that I have gotten thru our birthdays, 25th anniversary, holidays. Realization of us never being us again has got to settle in..I'm determined, although with a broken hear.