My Dear,
I know how you are feeling, and it has only been over a week for you and it is still very very raw. Stay here and write, I to lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack as well and I could not save him, and We did everything as well for 33 years, I know exactly how your are feeling. We could finish each other sentences, and we knew what each other was thinking. Cry cry cry it helps the soul as I do that everyday. It has only been six months for me and it still feels like yesterday, but look after yourself, eat if only a little and drink lots of water it helps. We are all here for you so write here any time. Hugs to you . Dianna

Yes this is very raw for you. I know that endless despairing feeling and I do still feel it but as time goes by it may sound strange but for me it stays but its form changes. That's the best way I can describe it. My sadness is still there but I have learned to function with it and take care of things while distracted. If someone asks me "are you doing better." I don't really know the answer. I guess "yes" when it comes to being able to get back to my old routine but "no" when it comes to missing him. For me it can change from day to day or even hour to hour. Some days crying a lot, others not as much, sometimes numb other times it feels like it just happened. When I am in the really low moments I try to remind myself that eventually it will switch to something more bearable. It goes back and forth and back and forth. Actually Easter day went ok for me but that evening I was bad as well as the next day. This is an unpredictable journey and my heart goes out to you because I know how difficult is especially in the first month. It's over 3 months for me and I still feel the rawness. I also agree to not hold back from crying and reaching out to others that have also walked this treacherous path.

My heart goes out to you. I remember those early weeks and the intense raw pain. For the first 2 months I had that sick to my stomach feeling as well and suffered from anxiety. Waking up every morning to the realization that he was no longer on this earth, that it wasn’t just a bad dream was excruciating- I still have moments when I can’t believe this is my life now. The intense pain lessons but like ChrisForever said, it’s a rollercoaster ride and the emotions change sometimes minute to minute. I am almost five months out and have gone from thinking I was doing better to having that sense of hopelessness again and wondering what will be of my life. Yes, cry, cry and cry. I find it therapeutic.
Chris, I totally get the not knowing how to answer when people ask “how are you doing” or “are you doing better.” I want to tell them I am doing “TERRIBLE” How else can I be doing when I lost the love of my life and my son lost his father, but most people don’t really want to hear that so all I can say is “I am surviving” I am able to go to work, take care of my kid and somewhat take care of the house and repeat the next day.
Many hugs to you all.

That was how i was during the first few months. My hands were shaking, i couldnt sleep, eat, focus. Basically, i thought i was going crazy... i am much better now at 8 months, slowly settling down to my new life... You will too eventually, maybe sooner or later.. there is no timeline. What i know for sure is you will be ok, all of us will. Just take it a day at a time..