You gave me a smile with your Monster comment. Auto correct is a pain in the neck.
Thank you for your kind words of support. I do have a high school boy who helps out, but at times he isn't as reliable as I need. I guess my hubby was so reliable and strong, I keep hoping for that.
How long have you been a widow? How are you managing?

I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed although, thankfully, I am able to escape extreme anxiety. I do notice that when I am very tired my emotional state is less stable and I feel overwhelmed. I work ALOT as I have my own business so I can appreciate your situation. I am trying to find a way to reduce my workload. It began to increase about 3 years ago but steadily got worse after my husband died 9/30/15. It's been a good distraction but I know it's not healthy. I try to eat well, exercise and practice self care because then I feel better physically and emotionally. I hope you find some relief.

Yes!!! I am doing my best to eat well, rest when my body tells me, and meditate and pray. Yet, for some reason after 18 months anxiety has overtaken me. I hate starting an antianxiety medication, but I'm doing it for those I love. I can no longer be so anxious.
I will continue to do the good things for me. It won't be like this forever. Thank you for your words of support.

Hi momster....I’m glad that you found this group who truly understands the path that you’re now on!
I’m so sorry for your loss!
Sometimes it does take awhile for the fog to clear and that dreaded reality to sink in. The anxiety you speak of is completely natural. It’s scary but once you’re aware of it, well, that helps a bit to understand it or at the very least, recognize it. Finding the right meds help if needed. They don’t have to be a permanate thing but they do help many to at least get your footing on this bumpy road.
Try not to overwhelm yourself with multiple thoughts and chores coming at you all at once. You have a lot on your plate which is best to take one thing at at time if possible.
Lists seem to help me...but then I lose the list so that gets me off on another track looking for the darn list!!!! Lol! At least if I’m writing things down, I see an order that needs to be done… not that it gets done!!!! But I’m trying! It appears to me that you are too and doing a great job!!!
Stay with us here...read, write and know that you are not alone!
Big hugs to you!
Darcie

Momster, going on with life without your partner feels scary and helpless. I feel it myself and find myself disinterested. This is a place to vent so feel free to do so.

Talk about feeling overwhelmed and thinking you are having heart attacks. Me too! I am considering having a Life Line scan done next month - if I have the money. Now I am having to park one of my vehicles a half block away from the house so my neighbor can back his boat out. I don't like this! I have a one car garage that is already full. I either get rid of stuff in a hurry or rent another storage unit (I just closed two out and piled everything in the garage). My kids dump their drama on top of mine, so I am getting little accomplished. I know I'm a wreck. At least the weather here hasn't been too bad this winter. I wish you the best.

Oh my goodness!!! I have landed in the right place. Thank you ladies for sharing your pearls of wisdom. I feel as if I've found a sisterhood. I will continue to share and respond. ❤

Welcome to the Red Hat Society (tongue in cheek!)
http://www.laterbloomer.com/jenny-joseph/

Had a message in my email,that there was a member on that had written.You sound a lot like me with panic ,anxiety.Though our situation is much different, I see an feel,what your going thru as I have had the feelings many times.I tried again on antidepressants,but after only 3 days,couldn’t take the way I was feeling.sick,worse anxiety,dizzy,depression,that meds.don’t agree with some of us. I would suggest to try Cbd oil. Look it up.You can take with meds. I have been using it.does help with sleep.Have ordered gummies from www.purekana.com They com in a bottle of 20-25mg.ea.I bite in half.eat a half an see if you feel less anxious during the day.Then take a half bf bed.If you may have a store that may carry it in your town..
Thought I have depression, along with PTSD& HBp.Am older too.Married but feel alone, since only child,a daughter got married.Husband retired, being a homemaker.He was always gone working,it was just my daughter an I home.She got married the same year.Didnt realize how controlling he had been. I alway felt not worth much. Now he just does as he pleases.Cant talk to him,seem like all he can do is get along with his own kind.No compassion,though he says he does.Never once has he said,I’m sorry or what could I do to help you feel better.I get well if I give in what you want ,then I will bet sick,like you.. I’m trying to get rid of my cludder,donate all I can to local animal groups.He won’t lift a finger to help sort stuff.Just says it all junk an he would go all put all in trash bags.One of the reasons daughter left,as he was controlling to her,too.Well I said enough.We all have problems,some of have to turn to a site like this as we have no one to talk to.Take care ,all.

BrownFox,
I think it's harder to be so lonely with someone than without them. I'm very sad that your husband is so uncaring. I wish I had words of advice. Perhaps you need to take some time away and give yourself a break.
I'll keep you in my prayers. ❤

Momster and Brown Fox. It's been 81)2 and some months for me. When he first passed, I asked my to give me a nerve pill, but she gave me Buspar. It didn't help and I was dizzy and all. And today I couldn't breathe, like I was having an anxiety attack or something. I never had any till my boyfriend passed away. Too many worries and anxieties and I am also having another hot flashes, so much fun now, everything, sorry. Many blessings to you all!!

Today I haven't talked to a real live person except for the post office clerk when I mailed a package. I sent my stepson some CD software for the Mac computer that was his dad's. I also looked through Sam's memory tote. I guess I didn't keep much of his stuff. Health-wise, I feel better than I did. Grandson Samuel is going to be born early, it looks like. And I can't be there. I wonder if it is normal for me to feel a type of numbness (not physically but emotionally). Again, I may be trying to speed up the grief process, and I realize that must take its course. I am reading two books - THE WORN OUT WOMAN and HUSBANDS FOR HIRE. Don't ask me if there is a connection; there could be. My life is pretty mundane, but at least I feel fairly calm. The B-Complex Stress vitamins seem to help.

Hello, Shewearsblack17!
I am feeling like I need to pick up my house and just be alone some days. Then, I am so lonely and wish my daughter or sister would come and spend the night. Physically I'm feeling better, unless I am silly and have more than two drinks the night before. Then. I'm super anxious in the morning. I need to get a grip. I too am trying to speed up the grief process.