Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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knittingsuecq 12/16/2015

I took care of my mom for 10 years. For the last 3 of those I was taking care of my husband, too. Then I lost them both within 5 weeks of each other. I was devastated and suddenly completely alone. I went from having more to do each day than I thought any one person should be asked to do, to having only myself to take care of and I just didn't care anymore. I was numb for the first year. The second year was harder than the first because I began to feel. And all I felt was gut wrenching pain. Then I decided that since I couldn't take care of them anymore, maybe I could take care of someone else. So I decided to give blood. The hospital is only 4 blocks from my house and they have a blood drive every other month. So now I go and give blood to help someone else. It's easy. It's anonymous. And I'm connecting without really connecting. Somehow it helps........a little. It helps me feel needed in a way.

Rainbow27 12/16/2015

So sorry for the loss of your mother and husband. I know how hard caregiving can be and you took care of your mom for ten years and your husband 3 is an extremely long, intensive schedule. I am also going soon into the second year (March) and felt the same way that maybe taking care of someone else would give me purpose. So I visit a 93 year old lady in a nursing home who has been on hospice and also help a neighbor who has stage iv cancer. She has no one around to help. Not too many people seem to understand why I do this but it gives me a purpose, and I get back 100% more than I could ever give. Keep connecting, it is healing.

cgriff4ever 12/16/2015

I too lost my mom then my husband, nothing is ever easy.. I was one off those recipients of blood, had a total hysterectomy a few years back, lost 4 pints of blood and had to have a transfusion, so thank you for your unsefish donation, it saved my life. much love and big hugs carla...and there is one person who knows what you do, before you do it, and your intent on doing it... so that is so wonderful.

doyew 12/26/2015

My husband died of leukemia several yrs. ago, and blood donors like you were literally his lifeline during 2 yrs. of treatment. He needed blood platelets as well as regular transfusions quite often. This is really a good thing to do for others.

Wishing you peace in 2016!
Doye

Sara59 12/26/2015

I think you are doing a wonderful thing giving blood. I'm going to look into that. Thanks.

deb20 12/26/2015

I lost count of my husbands transfusions, but I am so grateful to those who so generously gave him some time. That is a wonderful thing you are doing.

barbarame 12/31/2015

It is wonderful that you give to others It is like tossing a stone in the lake - you have no idea how your generosity will affect more people than you could ever imagine. thank you

knittingsuecq 01/02/2016

Hi everyone, I received a phone call from the Red Cross on Christmas Eve. They told me that I had tested positive for a very high platelet count. They asked me to consider being a platelet donor. So today, I started the new year by making my first platelet donation. It's harder than a whole blood donation. It took 2 1/2 hours plus the donation center is a 30 minute drive from my house. So I gave my whole afternoon to this project. I'm glad I did. It made me feel needed for them to ask. I tried so hard to take good care of Frank and my mom. But God took them anyway. So this way I'm helping to take care of someone else. Maybe I bought some time for another family.

JesusisOurSaviour 01/02/2016

I thank God for you.
It was people like you, who helped my husband through his long,
Arduous battle with AML leukemia.
Without his hundreds of blood transfusions and platelet transfusions,
My husband, Ben would not have survived for two and a half years.

Thank you, from me, my children and my grandchildren.
Love from Sandra

staygolden3 01/02/2016

Blood now platelets? Wow you are a true angel! You literally give people life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! It's an act of true generosity. Know that you are thanked endlessly from the scores of people that you've helped anonymously. "Do not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing" is a mantra to be lived by!
Love and a big hug for you!
Darcie

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