Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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feeling down

silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife

It's been a long time since I signed onto this site.  It will be 9 years anniverary of my husband's passing in a few days.  I am doing fine but sometime still feel lost in life.  No one really wanted to talk to me or willing to listen to what I have to say although they hear me. I don't feel like working on hobbies, so I watch YouTube all day long.  I go exercise with my daughter to keep active.  I babysit grandchildren, do gardening.  These seemed to be chores and not enjoyment.  I just finished watering the plants and vegetables and thinking what is it for, no one eats the vegetables why bother to do it.  I did it to keep busy and they think I liked to work in the garden. They took me on vacation ended up the adults didn't want to pay for some attractions.  I paid so the grandchildren could enjoy their day.  I just keep on doing things to keep going and keep busy.  Can't let my feeling out because no one really understand except for a couple of friends who know me well enough to let out all my discontent.

Veronica77
Veronica77
I am the same just living day by day. It just seems like a chore. I was at seven years in February. I am not forcing myself anymore and am trying to just enjoy a few little things. Maybe that will help. (((Hugs)))
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
Thank you Veronica77. Have a nice day.
lovesloons
lovesloons
It's been 10 years since my husband passed and feel like I could have written your post. I feel exactly the same way as you do, as if I'm always on the fringe of someone's happy life, my friends, my daughters, neighbors. I miss my joyful contented life that I had with my husband, it was my world til it came crashing down with husband passing of pancreatic cancer, 9 months from diagnosis. I go through the motions of life now and keep it all to myself. No one wants to hear that I still grieve for my husband and the life we had built together. Everybody moves on but inside I feel like I'm at a standstill. Going through the motions of life. I find it's best to tuck my feelings away, laugh, enjoy life as it is now but it can be very hard at times. Thank you for sharing your feelings, makes me feel like I'm not crazy for still loving and missing my husband and my life with him. Take care, Jan.
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
Lovesloons so sorry you and I felt the same way. Hugs to you. One of my daughter was particularly mean to me for a while. She snapped at me for no reason whenever she had a chance. Her husband told me to fight back but I got it back twice as hard from her. Eventually her husband couldn't take her tantrum either. He told her to get help or there will be a divorce. Fortunately she listened to him and got help. She's better now but I still keep to myself to stay away from her occasional wrath.

I thought my husband and I would grow old together. If he was here, he would not let this happened to me. They respect him and thought I was a nag. I heard him said to our girls a couple of times: "This is your mom, don't treat her without respect, just say "yes" to mom." He was not happy with the other one and wanted to ask her to leave but I stopped him. I didn't want them to break their father daughter relationship. He was such a good father. He took her on vacations with us to ease her pain when she had a breakup with her boy friend and her divorce. This one treated me much kinder since my husband past away, a 360 degree changed in her attitude. We all have flaws so I just live my life and let them live theirs. This is how I survived all these years.