I am so sorry for your loss. I too am tired all the time. I only sleep about 4-5 hours a night and thats interupted sleep as well. July will be 3 years for me and i have probably only slept about 7 nights straight thru the night in the past 3 years. I used to be someone who needed to sleep, and now I can't believe that I can function on the sleep that I get. I wish you peace.

Depression is a very difficult feeling to deal with; and we all know 'it's' there, coming from inside - whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Our body knows... Oppression comes from the outside and pushes us down with worries, fears, etc.; how we're going to go on in this crazy, lonely world. I'm at 4 1/2 years, and both depression and oppression can come out when I least expect them.. We've all had to deal with both of these in our past at some time -- but we had our significant other there to help us combat them. Now, it's like jumping off a cliff without a parachute... Even though our minds don't want to deal with this, our body 'acts out' and defends the best it can.. I hope I haven't left anyone feeling negative and hopeless with these thoughts; just being able to recognize them will be a great help to go through your daily walk. My Best, Nancee

I can relate to your fatigue. For me to be energized, I need to have goals, hopes, and dreams. I don't have many of those now, without my best friend and partner and husband. Therefore, a feeling of fatigue is the result. When I get excited about anything, I get an infusion of energy. Just don't get excited about much anymore.

All my life, I have been energetic. Couldn't even sit through a movie. It used to drive my husband crazy. Even while he was bedridden, and asleep, I had a baby monitor with me at all time, while I did yardwork, etc. Now, the day goes by, and I realize I haven't done a thing. Have to force myself to get up and do anything. I guess this is a sign of depression?

I know what you describe well. Grief is work, harder than phycical labor to me. The rampted emotions are exhausting and often without end. I respect those of you who work a full time job, whether by necessity or choice. My experience left me paralysed and unable to function. Thankfully I was in a position to retire. I worked my part time job two weeks after eight weeks bereavement time, to train someone and cried in the car at the end of the day not knowing where to go or what to do. This complicated my grief, because I scolded myself for being what I considered weak.

I also have a strong Christian faith so I felt I was failing in the faith too. D

Sharing w/other widows was a tremendous help for me in the early years; we're now good friends interested in one another's new life -

Fatigue & sleeplessness are also normal with grief. For me, it seemed like it lingered on forever.For these issues, I went to a to a massage therapist bi-weekly It was/is such a relief to get the stress out. The first few years I just cried as the stress left my body & my mind became occupied w/the soothing sensations. Nowadays, I occassionally weep as I become fully relaxed. Grieving is hard work coupled w/internalizing its toxins -

Its great that you were able to get a good night's rest when still so very raw -

Hope it continues to happen especially when you need it the most -

(((Hugs!)))

After my husband's death, I had so much to do. Watching over the steps it took to get his body home, going to see his employer to tracking the transportation of getting him and his belongings back to the US. I slept well at the beginning from exhaustion. Now after a full day of work, I relax on the sofa and fall to sleep, then I wasn't able to get back to sleep in bed. I kept up with doing the outside yard work which takes over my weekends. I can't get any house work done and I thought I have wasted my time sitting alone in front of the TV but I can't get myself to move. I am exhausted from all the work I have to deal with.

Good good you rested well. So nice too that you had someone you coud honestly and openly express your feelings with 18 months out I can relate to Thor. My husband's cancer diagnosis was July of 2009. I am not sure on my own when I have slept through a night. That is without a sleeping aid, while he was aive, it was watching over him, listening to him breath or the anxiety of the upcoming appointments. now, I work full time and I am always tired, i push on, I exercise and do my daily activities but rarely feel rested and energized....but as our wise widow sisters have said, grief is work and there is work to be don............hugs