Michele I am not looking forward to my year of "firsts". It's been 125 days and the worst "firsts" are still to come. Amy's birthday is on August 23rd and our anniversary is August 24th. I am not sure how I will handle these two significant dates but I am sure it won't be pretty. Her favorite holidays were Christmas and Halloween still to come. Both of our mother's birthdays have come and gone since she passed and I could not attend events for either. I hope it gets easier for both of us.

Michelle, you have described everything "normal" that most of us, if not all, have experienced on our respective grief journeys. Just know that you are not alone. Again, unfortunately, no quick fixes . . we must move through all of these strange and unfamiliar territories of feelings, sometimes without even being able to name said feeling. It's a hodge podge of mixed emotions that certainly can seem overwhelming. Thus the reference to a roller coaster ride, one that we've been put on and can't stop the darn thing because it's out of our control in early grief. Eventually we are given the opportunity to slow it down and then step off. But this takes time. Meanwhile, keep it in today, tomorrow will take care of itself. When you have the small reprieves, relax into them and regain some of those scattered energies, knowing that the emotions will run rampant once again. Time, my friend. Baby steps and breathe . . we're here walking with you. Hugs, D

Father's Day has been difficult for me since I lost my daddy at 13 but this year is worse because I know what our kids are going through and I can't fix it.

You are not alone in your despair, holidays are hard regular days are hard life is harder when you are missing a piece of yourself. Sen

It double depressing for me, because my husband's birthday is also on Sunday. He would have been 60. Last year when he turned 59, I had begun thinking about his 60th, about how I wanted to do something special for him...never got the opportunity...August 1 will be 22 years since the day we met...that will be a real hard one..

I personally find it easier to focus on real holidays like Christmas and Easter. The rest are what I call junk holidays that do not apply to everyone. Father's Day has never been big on my list. Don't get me wrong; this has nothing to do with the respect I have for my dad. I just don't need one day in the year to tell him he is the most awesome man alive. My kids do have a father. He's just not here. I prefer to remind them often that he was an important part of the little bit of time he had with them.

Maggie

My dad's gone, and my husband's gone. I'm sad for my son and grandsons, too.
And, it's a double whammy for me on Sunday, because it would have been our 35th wedding anniversary.

Hugs,
Janie

My husband died the Friday before Father's Day in 2007. It made the day even harder for me and my children. I know that it still effects them even though they are adults in their 40s now. It's a day we get through the best we can. Just breathe deeply and take the steps you can handle. Hugs to you. Sharon

I don't know what my boys will be feeling as they don't talk about them or their Dad.....it is the most hurtful thing.

I miss my Dad so much, he has been gone almost 3 years. He always knew what to say to comfort me and I was always his little girl. I love you Daddy.

I will miss my Ben for the awesome father he was. I will be alone tomorrow and I don't know how I will be.......just another sad "special day" without my Ben who I loved beyond measure.

Michele, indeed it is a hard time. When the next day come you will be able to assess what is best for you then. There is no rules to grieving.
Be gentle on yourself.