Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Truhal 01/04/2012

I remembered it well: A movie watched on television, my husband sitting there laughing and eating a bowl of popcorn. Then I checked the date of the film. It was released in 2011 and my husband passed in 2010. So, it's a false memory.

Got me wondering. How many of us have a memory of our spouses being at some event or another when they couldn't have possibly been there?

The same thing happened for at least three years after losing my mother.

deleted_user 01/04/2012

My loss is too new but I hope that this happens for me as well.
To me this just proves that they are still with us and a big part of lives forever.......what a wonderful memory
Thanks for sharing......hugs

deleted_user 01/04/2012

I don't think you had a false memory at all. You remember yoir dear husband siting in his movie viewing chair, enjoying a bowl of popcorn while watching a good movie with you. How many hundreds of times has that scene REALLY played out during your wonderful marriage? I just think you remember that "scene", the movie itself is of little consequence given that your real joy was watching all those movies together. Thats how I see it.

A couple weeks ago I took my sons and their girlfriends out to dinner. Made sure it was to a place I never went with Berna, wouldn't be able to handle that. Anyway, throughout the entire dinner all I did was think of Berna being there, loving this place. Two years from now i'll probably swear she was there that night. To the rest of the world I may have created a false memory, but to me going out to dinner without Berna is just not the way things are supposed to be.

missmyhero 01/04/2012

I believe that in spirit they "are there with us" and it is our spiritual connection to them learning that. I believe that some things are beyond our human understanding.
Sometimes I can sit back and think about my husband being here with me and what he would say to me if he was and it calms me and for a moment it is like I am lost in time with him once more. Then the moment passes. I swear sometimes I can "feel him" like that.

Anyway, I wonder if you are having one of those moments..
hugs...
-Diana

cliffskat 01/04/2012

I've had it happen, and also it was regarding a movie. I could have sworn I saw one with Cliff and our boys, but was corrected by my sons that their Dad was already gone at the time. Weird, isn't it?

Love and Hugs, Martha

deleted_user 01/04/2012

That has happened to me already believe it or not!

But I'm not so sure it's a false memory? i mean when we go places and do things, they are ALWAYS in our thoughts and in our hearts right? so in a way, they WERE right there with us! Inside of US.

nothing false about that.

HUGS diane

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