Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It's falling apart. After I spent so much time trying to hold it together. It's falling apart. And it makes me sad. After my husband passed, I wanted so much to be an independent woman, to be able to say to one and all that I can do it all. That I'm an intellegent woman, capable of living without a man. But now it's falling apart, and I'm scared that I'm going to end up not being able to keep myself off the floor.
It started last year when I put on the persona of an independent woman. I had so many people telling me how I needed a man. What are you going to do if you need help, they said. And I thought about it and finally came up with, well, I'll do it myself. So I did. I spent a year, telling those same people how I didn't need a man. See, I did this or that, I would say. See, I'm still working and paying my expenses, I would say. I don't need a man.
But then today it happened. I got up, came into my den, sat down at my computer, and quickly realized my mistake. It came apart. I'd been walking a tightrope for an entire year, not realizing the danger I faced each time I sat down.
So, what am I going to do in the future? I'm definetly not gonna go out and get married just so I'll have help. Instead--I'll tell you what I'm gonna do:
I'm gonna pay the fifty dollars and let someone else put my chair together. That way I won't be sitting in my falling apart chair, with one arm, 'cause the other arm is on the floor by my feet, writing to you, and hoping the sound I just heard of a boat falling to the floor doesn't mean I'm about to follow.
So, there. And did I mention the back of the damn chair is seriously leaning to the left? That's right, I've got a gangsta lean at the age of 54. So much for assembling my first office chair, a task that would have been on my honey-do list not that long ago.
Tru
It started last year when I put on the persona of an independent woman. I had so many people telling me how I needed a man. What are you going to do if you need help, they said. And I thought about it and finally came up with, well, I'll do it myself. So I did. I spent a year, telling those same people how I didn't need a man. See, I did this or that, I would say. See, I'm still working and paying my expenses, I would say. I don't need a man.
But then today it happened. I got up, came into my den, sat down at my computer, and quickly realized my mistake. It came apart. I'd been walking a tightrope for an entire year, not realizing the danger I faced each time I sat down.
So, what am I going to do in the future? I'm definetly not gonna go out and get married just so I'll have help. Instead--I'll tell you what I'm gonna do:
I'm gonna pay the fifty dollars and let someone else put my chair together. That way I won't be sitting in my falling apart chair, with one arm, 'cause the other arm is on the floor by my feet, writing to you, and hoping the sound I just heard of a boat falling to the floor doesn't mean I'm about to follow.
So, there. And did I mention the back of the damn chair is seriously leaning to the left? That's right, I've got a gangsta lean at the age of 54. So much for assembling my first office chair, a task that would have been on my honey-do list not that long ago.
Tru
Paula
Kathleen
It just reminds me of things around the house that either are broken or I am afraid will need replacing. It's like I never had to worry about these type of things before--that was in hubby's job discription. Do you ever get the feeling that our standard of living has been lowered? I do. I know that it has to and even have resolved into accepting that--I am only one and cannot possibly keep up with what the two of us did. I don't care if others can--I'm just going to do my best and not set impossible goals for myself. If I can, I will hire someone to do things that I am unable to do. It works for me!
Maggie
You are doing great btw!
Hugs, Joely
This goes the other direction also. We had a small business and my Wife answered the phone and made a half-hearted attempt to keep us organized. Well, I really miss that. Because now I'm trying to do everything at once. Kind of hard to answer the phone when you are up a tree. I hope I have it solved as my daughter in law was recently laid off of her job and is doing that kind of stuff for me. At least on a temporary basis.
Tru
I just jumped in there and tiled by bathroom floor - its good.. darn good. It took me months to do it. Bought a wardrobe from Shopko OH sh$#@ I said what was I thinking - sev hrs w/13 yr grand daughter its done...we cursed a little here and there (OK I did)
Moral of story: jump in see what ya can do!
BUT jump out when too much frustration sets in - get some one else to do it...
BUT I understand the falling apart bit I have been working on my place for many months - its very very frustrating on those particular moments....call me I can share some really awful moments...