Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Facing a year of "Firsts".....:(

Iksonak
Iksonak
I never realized how many times after my husband died...15 months ago....that we'd be facing "Firsts"!!! First anniversary since his death, first Memorial Day, 4th of July, First Labor Day, First his birthday, First Thanksgiving, Christmas, first NewYear in 49 years without having him to hug and kiss. First Easter. First time celebrating our kids' birthdays and anniversaries without him, first time for the grand babes. So many darn Firsts. It hurts. At Thanksgiving, we set a place for him at the table. Then all ate dinner with big swollen throats and misty eyes. Not good, that one! No presents under the tree at Christmas. So hard. So many Darn Firsts.
I know the rest will be hard cuz I still miss him so so much, but the first time was hard beyond belief!

iksonak
Sammantha71
Sammantha71
The firsts are bad. I went though my firsts and they ended in April this year. Your husband may be gone but he is there with you in sprit. I always talk to my husband when we are alone and at night. If you want to talk to him go ahead I do it. Spend time with your kids and grandkids. Talk about the funny memories that you have of there grandfather. You might want to consider a therapist and get a check up and check up on your own health.
terryanddon
terryanddon
Yeah, those firsts will get you they sometimes sneak up on you too I lost it the other day when I realized it was a year ago tht Don had gone on hospice. ((HUGS)) Hang in there Terry
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am 9 months through my first year as of yesterday. I am not looking forward to the first Autumn without him, it was our favorite time of year. He was from FL where they really don't have change of seasons just different levels of heat and he loved the fall and the cold winter days here. We had our first two daughters in Autumn, one in 05 and 11 months later another one. We met in Autumn. He passed in Nov still have that coming, after yesterday I'm not sure how I will do, although I am determined to TRY and have a non eventful one.
The first year is so so hard.
God Bless us all
Cindy
darjar0
darjar0
What used to be a happy time of yr for us is now filling me with dread.
His birthday is coming in Sept, then mine in Oct. Then you have the holidays. He passed right before Christmas and our anniversary. So even tho those won't be actual "firsts" I dread them like they were.
I think his birthday is gonna hit me hardest
coffeeforme
coffeeforme
This may sound a bit unimportant compared to anniversaries, holidays and birthdays, but while watching tv yesterday, the AP poll of college football teams was trailed on the bottom of the screen. My husband and I did not have one college team that we both liked - we gave each other such grief about our teams! I turned to where he always sat in the family room and smiled, but then teared up - I will miss him so much during football season - we had such fun teasing each other. I don't think I'll watch this year.
Beka92
Beka92
I was just thinking how much I am going to miss watching college football this season with my husband. He was looking forward to the new SEC network. He watched all the SEC games. Miss him so much!
coffeeforme
coffeeforme
I was a bit reluctant to write about football, although I knew all on this site would understand. But maybe it was to let you know you won't be alone during football season, Beka! Nor will I.
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
I had the first anniversary two weeks after my husband passed. Talk about daggers in the heart. September will be his birthday and I am also dreading... last birthday I had lots of balloons and tried to make it festive knowing it would be his last birthday. I have pictures of that day and treasure his smile in the photos.
darjar0
darjar0
This is gonna sound stupid but the last season of Sons of Anarchy is starting soon and I have mixed feelings. We started watching it together back when it first started and even made sure he could see it in the hospital. This yr....its gonna be so weird. And football too. He was a big time Raider fan....wow...I just dont know .
Iksonak
Iksonak
Friends, do NOT apologize or think a comment is silly or strange. Don't we all have moments of grief, of loss, of a memory, of a touch, of a meal, of a TV show, of a holiday, of a trip, of anything that reminds us of the one we lost? It socks us in the gut, floods us with tears, makes our breath tighten in our chest. The realization that now we must face this thing alone. We want it like it was before. We know it cannot be! We all understand this terrible feeling. When you write about it here, we all are shaking our heads up and down saying, Yes, Yes, that is happening to me, too. Please just know that we all are standing right beside you as this happens.....we have your back!!!!

iksonak