Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My upper eyelid lid has been mildly and uncontrollably "twitching" these past few days. Annoying. I just looked it up on web MD and it says causes can be due to "emotional stress" or "fatigue." Hmmm- might apply to new widows or widowers! Luckily it supposedly goes away on its own. I'm sure others of you have had physical issues due to loss.
This is the first 3 day weekend without my playmate. If Marc were here we would have had people over for a barbecue, or went out with others somewhere, maybe sailing or walking along the beach-- at least enjoying the time together. Even though I don't work, and a hollday/day off is no big deal me for, I feel particularly lonely, knowing that others are "off" and doing stuff together or just relaxing together on a non-work Monday.
Everyone I know is a "couple" and I'm actually feeling envious of their "coupledom." They don't realize how lucky they are. I took our "coupledom" for granted, until it was ripped away. I took for granted what a precious gift it was to have a partner that cared completely about everything I said, did, or thought (and vice versa.)
I know I could be cooking and inviting people over--and i have since Marc passed, and enjoyed it-- but this weekend I couldn't muster up the energy or desire to make that happen. Or go to a Memorial Service for veterans.
Now I wish I had. it would have been better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself with nothing to do Memorial Day, and looking at old photos.
So glad to be able to write this somewhere. I wouldn't write this on facebook because then you have friends feeling guilty that they need to do something for you or invite you over...
On this site, y'all can just reply, "Yup. Been there, done that" and that is very helpful. Thanks for letting me rant.
This is the first 3 day weekend without my playmate. If Marc were here we would have had people over for a barbecue, or went out with others somewhere, maybe sailing or walking along the beach-- at least enjoying the time together. Even though I don't work, and a hollday/day off is no big deal me for, I feel particularly lonely, knowing that others are "off" and doing stuff together or just relaxing together on a non-work Monday.
Everyone I know is a "couple" and I'm actually feeling envious of their "coupledom." They don't realize how lucky they are. I took our "coupledom" for granted, until it was ripped away. I took for granted what a precious gift it was to have a partner that cared completely about everything I said, did, or thought (and vice versa.)
I know I could be cooking and inviting people over--and i have since Marc passed, and enjoyed it-- but this weekend I couldn't muster up the energy or desire to make that happen. Or go to a Memorial Service for veterans.
Now I wish I had. it would have been better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself with nothing to do Memorial Day, and looking at old photos.
So glad to be able to write this somewhere. I wouldn't write this on facebook because then you have friends feeling guilty that they need to do something for you or invite you over...
On this site, y'all can just reply, "Yup. Been there, done that" and that is very helpful. Thanks for letting me rant.
Rant away . . . and know you were not "alone" in your lonliness of this Holiday weekend. I'm sure many here were as well. Hugs, D
As for the happy couples, yes they are like a slap in the face at first. After a while you stop noticing them so much. I used to burst into tears at the grocery store when I saw an older couple shopping together. I was happy for them, but so sad for me. Now I just smile and think how lucky they are. Give yourself time, you are still very early in the whole grief process.
Hugs,
Val
There was an older couple sitting in a booth near me, and they didn't say one word to each other all during lunch.
I almost started crying.
I wanted to walk over to them and say stop taking each other for granted, enjoy being together, talk to each other, smile, hold hands ...
Because some day you'll be sitting here alone.
I had them go into my husband's wine cellar and pick some wines. They had fun looking up their value and tasting notes, and we toasted him, and i got to know them better.
Now to clean up a kitchen full of dirty dishes and wine glasses. But again, it gives me something to do, and I guess this is how we get through our days for now?