I have had people on here disagree with me a few times. I suppose we all have potential to come across wrong, or be misunderstood in what we are trying to say, since we are all human. I usually try to ignore the offense unless it's too severe - or intentional. A few times I chose to ignore the poster, which is actually blocking them. I guess my biggest issue is the overuse of profanity on DS. Again, I can overlook a word here and there, but when it gets to be prominent, it's just not necessary (to get a point across). Please don't put this into a religious category because it's not meant to be. This usually happens when someone gets overly agitated about something either on or off the board.

I think the most important thing that we can do is realize we are not all in the same place. We share the pain of loss but our stories are different. Maybe we should express our stories and that would give way to more insight as to where the person is on this journey. More compassion ~ no judgement.

It's very easy to misunderstand what is meant online. I have watched threads go into flames over some very simple misreadings. It is unfortunate that it happens, but we are not always thinking/reading/understanding clearly.

It is usually best not to jump to conclusions, but instead to go back and re-read whatever it was to be certain you are following the correct intention of the poster.

Is this a safe place for respectful discourse - of course it is. And quite honestly, a lot of wiggle room is allowed - I will close a post if I have to, or request material be removed if I have to, but I hate doing that and only do that in order that this place remains a 'safe place.'

I think a lot of us used to bounce opinions off our spouses before we took any action. I know I did. In the painful chaos of grieving, being on our own with no one to double-check us, sometimes we say things that we shouldn't or misunderstand the intentions/comments of others.

The old version of DS used to have a banner on the Reply box that said, "In making this comment, I do promise to be nice." It was juvenile in a way, but sometimes we do seem to need a reminder to be courteous and respectful, and above all, supportive.

It's also true that the better we know each other, the less likely we are to misread things. That's why it helps to do the roll call, among other things.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Dear Rick51, whoever offended you, please accept my apology on behalf of that person. You are my BFF.

babochka; that made me laugh. Thanks!