Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I may be 42 but I lost my husband in April 2013. In 2006 I had cancer and had to have a hysterectomy so I was highly depressed and handled it myself and dug my way out of depression with my husbands help. The other day when I get a message saying that I should go to YWBB.org instead of here in that made me mad. I prefer here because this group has helped me a lot. I know that I have to grieve the loss of my husband before I can move on. I always took care of my husband before myself. So it will take me a very long time to heal from his sudden death.
Thank you all for your time. Have a good independence day!
Thank you all for your time. Have a good independence day!
And you are certainly a part of our community as long as you want and need to be here. I have been here for years, different needs, different posts, but one thing is obvious to me - it still nurtures me. I am grateful to have this site. And I am grateful for you being a part of this healing group.
warm hug
That was ABUSE and a BREACH of the RULES. It should be REPORTED as such.
When something like that happens, you can either report it yourself by using the "Report Abuse" link at the bottom of the page (very bottom next to where it says Privacy Policy), or if you are not sure, send the information to one of the Community Leaders - we're the ones with the blue "CL" on our pictures. The 3 for this group are myself, Shrn (Sharon), and Marjoe (Marsha), and in an emergency you can send it to any CL that is around, including Acuriousfish (Mark - who is a member here but a CL for a different board on DS).
There is nothing wrong with belonging to more than one support group, but there is something terribly wrong with telling someone they don't belong here when they do.
And if you get weird messages trying to hit on you, that is also ABUSE and should be REPORTED. Don't delete the message, instead report it. DS will review that person's activities and if it is inappropriate - like a predator or scammer or spammer - they will be warned, suspended, or banned.
I was not much older than you, Samm, when I was widowed - I was 50. It's a myth that only "little old ladies" are widows. We have had widows in their 20's here. Some of the demands and pressures are different at different ages - that's true - but a broken heart is the same no matter the age, the status, the country, etc. Grief is universal.
Love and Big Hugs,
Martha
Sent : 7/4/13, 4:05 am
Subject: Re: Hi again!
YWBB.org would not let me go on there. I like it here anyway I have friends here.
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The proper & civilized thing to have done was sent a PM to discuss the issues instead of posting them ~
Following your above PM I followed up with an apology for misreading your last sentence ~
I only encouraged you to try again in the hopes you'd be able to connect w/people in your area to become grief buddies with for extended personal support ~
My exact words were, "You may ALSO want to look into YWBB.org. This website is for under the age of 50 ~
It is the same copy I have sent to other young widow/ers ~
It was a suggestion not an order ~
A decision to make on your own of whether or not to take up on the suggestion ~
As for mentioning the section for those w/out children, I was not aware of your hysterectomy till now nor did I know whether the two of you had simply chosen not to have children ~
I know you're already angry & might also be suffering from widow brain, I do try to be careful w/my wording &/or relaxed when I feel comfortable w/those I think I can trust ~
The only thing that I can see is that I accidentally unknowingly may have triggered an unresolved issue ~
At the same time, grief does not give anyone entitlement to behave rudely, malicioulsy, brazen or with any other type of misconduct toward others b/c of it~
Especially when a PM of appreciation was sent to me for the suggestion, and I gave willingly from the heart to be of help ~
The only thing I can suggest is to re-send you the PM's if you'd like to re-read them ~
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*Hear the meaning within the word* ~ William Shakespeare
Maggie
Martha, Community Leader