Empty is a good way to put it. I feel like a shell of my former self. On Monday it will be 4 months for me. People are telling me I am doing well too. But I feel like I am just clicking off the days till I join him. Four months into it and still numb. My outward appearance is better, but inside, just empty.....

I have felt that way the past couple of days. You are early on in this. I know it does not seem like it nor does it really help now, but your emptiness will lessen one day. You will find a way. There is just no way to rush through the process of the ache and pain. Best peaceful wishes

I am so sorry for your loss. At three months I was bewildered and just surviving one day at a time. Between 3 and 6 months I started having some OK days. After 6 months I had a "routine" going and knew I would survive but didn't think I would ever be happy. I'm at 3 yrs now and I have happy moments (related to the love I receive from my family and friends) but I am not HAPPY. I am content. For me, I guess that's all I'll ever have and it is enough. I am thankful for the years I had with Joe. I haven't been hugged like Joe hugged me in all these 3 yrs. I have just had to realize that this is my new reality. I don't want to be selfish.....I had it "almost" all for a time, for a season. I just look forward to my eternal life in heaven.

It's one month for me, of course I am still numb, sad, lonely, scared, angry, etc. However it somewhat saddends me that a lot of you out there state you really are not happy, just content. Can't there be happiness in our future? Even if we chose to stay alone I want to believe there will be happiness again, I understand it will be different but please someone tell me I will be HAPPY.

Violet, I am with you, I plan to be Happy again one day....I know it is going to take time to accept my new reality and I am always going to miss him and the feel of his arms around me, but I promised him I would be ok, so, I have to and am going to honor him by working very hard towards that.....we had 28 wonderful years together, everyone who knew him knows what a wonderful loving man with a zest for life he was. I want to be happy in my memories of him as that is how he lived his life. I pray that we call all get to that place one day soon.

Yes. "one os HIS hugs"...I so know what you mean. The way the bodies fit together during a hug. Awww....I know just what you mean. Hugs from kids, grandkids, or friends: they're *okay* but not nearly the same, not really satisfying.

In reply to being Happy its nearly a year for me and everyday seems like yesterday when I lost Charles. But yes there is Happiness I look at my 3yr old grandson and I think what would he do if there was no me as well. I look after him most days an he is a good talker like Charles was ,so when he says some old fashioned thing like he was 22yrs old I do laugh then I think Charles would not want me to be lonely sad and empty like I feel he loved life to the full. So I ask him for help and do you know something always happens to make me feel a little better. So I am sure as I wake everyday that he is with me , I am trying to think more positive and think what would we did together and how do I cross the next bridge. I do cry everyday , feel sick when the emotions get the better of me and ask all the time why me why Charles, Then you pick yourself up look in the mirror and think were have I gone . Well I am trying to get me back like Charles would want so if that means talking to people and finding that special friend who you can talk to about all the things that are stopping your life from carrying on then so be it , there will never be any Love like Charles in my life ever again but I do hope I can find a friend . I am sorry for your loss only you knows what you are going through that's the bad bit.. I all do but my arms around myself give a big hug and say Hi Charles I think my grandson thinks I have gone mad but it works for me I do hope some of this makes sense...!!!!

All we can do is keep taking one breathe at a time when grief is so intense. Its hard. It hurts. I know. But we do it not thinking about tomorrow, just getting through today. I care ....

it is approaching 9 months for me and Yes, I am feeling completely empty today also. I actually think I made myself sick from crying so much, I just cant get the thought out of my mind that I can never hold her again. Went to the cemetary today and left some roses also wrote a message on a balloon and let it go I knelt in the snow and cried for 20 minutes. This really sucks!!! God bless you all, Bernard

I am at 9 months into widowhood. It is still empty inside. I have accepted the reality early on after the shock subsided. I don't want to be sad all the time and I accept there are moments each day that I still can cry. I am thankful that we had 36.5 years of happiness together. I believe we can choose to be happy or sad depending on how we feel that day.

When we found out that my husband was terminal we knew things needed to be said. It was very important for my husband to know I would be o.k. both financialy and emotionaly .When I told him I would be , he was able to relax and we made the most of his time left. At one point he told me he wanted me to move on with my life and that`s all he was going to say on the subject...I knew what he meant and appreciated him being so noble. To me moving on with my life does not neccesary mean finding myself in another relationship like he meant, it means finding happiness in the little things , looking forward to events in the future..He kept reminding me that I was strong and that I would be ok and I truly believe that I can be one day with room for remembering. I have to believe this so that my kids in turn can believe that they will be o.k. one day. Life wether we want it or not does go on and I am a firm believer that while we have a destiny we also have choices every single day and the outcome is from the choices we make. Right now 3 weeks after losing him, everyday I am presented with the choice to just pretend and hide from the world as it would be the easiest but for my own emotional health I chose to let the pain come and the tears flow so that I can eventually heal. I have lost loved ones in tragic ways before and as a teenager chose to hide and close myself off and was very angry and it took a long time to recover, I have learned from that experience . Nothing will ever bring my husband back but I do know without a doubt that eventually he would want me happy.