Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
First, I wish you all a happy Easter.
This is just an bit of a progress message. My husband died in February last year and I particularly remember my lonely, raw, unhappy Easter weekend, among all the fog which surrounded that period. Easter used to signify the spring, rebirth and hope. Last year's was more than awful. I remember spending the Easter weekend by the sea, in a place my husband and I had never been to, to try to get some solace. My family and friends by then where starting to suffer from compassion fatigue and I was left to my own device on that weekend.
A year on, I can see all the progress I have made. I, of course, went through all the "firsts" we all go through. Two weeks ago, I spent a few days in our little summer house. I could not have done that a year ago. I drove alone all the way to the South of France and back, I could not have done that either a year ago. I stopped many times to cry but I managed it and I felt comfortable and at peace at our summer house, I coule picture my husband happy there, and I smiled at the image.
So just to say that there is light in the grief tunnel and even if some days are still very difficult, there is hope, as in the Pandora's box.
This is just an bit of a progress message. My husband died in February last year and I particularly remember my lonely, raw, unhappy Easter weekend, among all the fog which surrounded that period. Easter used to signify the spring, rebirth and hope. Last year's was more than awful. I remember spending the Easter weekend by the sea, in a place my husband and I had never been to, to try to get some solace. My family and friends by then where starting to suffer from compassion fatigue and I was left to my own device on that weekend.
A year on, I can see all the progress I have made. I, of course, went through all the "firsts" we all go through. Two weeks ago, I spent a few days in our little summer house. I could not have done that a year ago. I drove alone all the way to the South of France and back, I could not have done that either a year ago. I stopped many times to cry but I managed it and I felt comfortable and at peace at our summer house, I coule picture my husband happy there, and I smiled at the image.
So just to say that there is light in the grief tunnel and even if some days are still very difficult, there is hope, as in the Pandora's box.
Jewells
God Bless,
Russ
I am 3 months ahead of you since my husband died in Nov 2012. I have experienced this calm in myself for 10 days now and it is very consoling but at the same time I am waiting for some trauma to come and destroy the peace since that seems to have been the pattern in the previous months! However, I usually have not gone much over 24 or 48 hours in the past before the calm was snatched away from me.
I have small hope that this will become a little more the "norm" for my life. I am more than ready since it has been 3 years this month that my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and our world was turned upside down. I am ready for the life I have now to become "normal" and let the past be the past--treasuring it but not agonizing over its loss. If only we could experience the separation from our spouse in the same manner as they have--help my unbelief! A most blessed Easter to you.
Happy Easter to you too. Mary W
Having researched it I still don't know what to make of the deal that she trapped hope in the jar.
I guess your point is that there is hope that things will get better with time. However it is not the time that makes things change, we are the ones who change our perspective :)
Bob
I am the genuine hopelessly hopeful. I have had no choice but to face the future alone but I am hopeful it may not be as grim as the past 13 months or so have been, if I did not believe in that I would have altered irremediably from my true self.
I first read the Greek myths at an early age, and I remember the illustration in my children's book of myths of Pandora and the box - and all the monsters that had flown out of it - and the glow of Hope that remained in the box. Grief opens the Pandora's box - we feel beset by monsters at every turn - and it takes awhile before you can find that glimmer of Hope. But it is there. It took me many months to find it, but it is there, and I am glad you have found that glimmer as well.
Thank you for sharing your update!
Love and Hugs,
Martha
Whether it's perception or change in me I can't decide, perhaps the changes in perception resulted in the new me. All I do know is I carry the burdens of loss still, but the package seems lighter and easier to bear. Sharon