Yeah - Easter is coming. I invited my daughter's Godparents for dinner. We don't see them often - they're always busy. I wonder why he can't squeeze in a little time for me - but the one time we were going to meet for dinner he stood me up. I know he forgot about it and I haven't brought it up. But - he's jewish, they have no kids (in their 50's) and she has no family in IL so I figured they might come.

I asked my oldest son if he was going to be home for Easter (he lives at home but staying at a girlfriend's a lot) and he said "no, I'm spending it at J's house (girlfriend in IN - 1 hr away) because she's been upset lately. She isn't getting along with her family and she doesn't like living at home." I said "then why don't you come here?" His whole life he has never invited girlfriends over but spends time at their house all the time. (He was at her house last Easter.)
He planned to be at J's for Thanksgiving but his father was in ICU dying on Thanksgiving.

J's been upset lately? Doesn't he see I'm upset too? I don't have any family but my 84 yr old mother and my husband never had a family. He is always at her house (every weekend of the year) and I pleaded and begged him to help around here- especially for the time I was working 2 jobs and taking 2 classes in addition to handling my mother's stuff and picking up the slack my husband used to do and got the answer of "I'm too busy" and "I'm not your husband." I realize he is very busy - he works 5 min from our house at a tire place and also goes to school full time - but still what is 10 min a day.

I said, "I really wanted everyone here for Easter" - and made the comment that this is the 1st easter without his father and his answer was - "You're going to be holding that over our head every year. Next year it will be 2 yrs since your father died, then 3 yrs." Then I heard the comment again "you need to see a therapist" I have been going about my life almost like everything is fine and doing so much work trying not to lose the house. Most of my friends have deserted me, I've lost my job, (still working till June) had my car insurance canceled - & no one wants to give me insurance even tho I've never had an accident in my life (my 2 sons have had 4 in the last 1 1/2 yrs- actually not their fault tho), and doing almost everything in the house myself. I've been asking him to pay for his car insurance for a year & he says he can't afford it. I got so upset I threw the plate of spaghetti on the floor that I was holding and his response was "this is why we never want to be here. You're psycho." And my daughter stood there and said, "you should be in the acceptance stage by now." (it's been 3 1/2 months) Do they see me crying and complaining? - no.

The only time I've seen the girlfriend (she's actually a wonderful girl) since the funeral was when we went to Medieval Times for my mother's birthday. I only see them if I pay. I pleaded with my kids to bring up the lawn furniture from the basement, help in the back yard - and get nothing. I try to get them to go pick out a new front door since ours is falling apart - not interested. My dog's birthday was 3/20. We always used to celebrate - not this year. My daughter's like, "mom, he's just a dog".

We've only had 2 fish in our tank for more than a year - I didn't have the time or money to get more. I've asked my kids several times if they wanted to pick out fish with me and no one cares. Twice in the last 3 weeks I bought new fish by myself. I came down this morning and saw almost all my new fish are dead. I don't know why. Maybe I'll throw out the tank too.

I give up. I'll get the lawn furniture myself. I'll try to adjust to life alone without asking for anything from anyone anymore. I can't force family to care. Every year I have gotten Easter gifts for everyone. And never once has anyone ever given anything to me. I haven't decided yet if I'll buy anyone anything this year.