Getting dressed is a good start. Remember to take some deep breathes, eat breakfast if you can, stay focused on what the day is all about-limit past and future thinking. You can do this! I believe in you!

Nell79-Thank you.
It means so much that you've taken time out during your bad day to encourage me. Breathing, breakfast, focus. Will do.

You can do this!!!!
Perhaps a pajama and slippers trip to drive through for a coffee?
You are out. You are interacting with people, but it's a limited endeavor.

15 months out, and I still have trouble getting out of the house. Of course this is not the same house where he passed. I freaked out staying in that house, but I had no other place to go. I stayed about 6 months till this duplex became available. Everything in this town reminds me of my loss, so I'm looking at moving again.

Today my goal is to get to Walmart...

I had some important appointments as well early on. I thought...how can I do this let alone by myself? I really wanted to just have someone, anyone else take care of them for me. If Ira were here, he would have....but he wasn’t so it was up to me and only me. Panic and anxiety tried knocking on my door but I wouldn’t answer. I knew the day would come and go so I kind of pictured myself out of my body...I disconnected myself if you will. It was rather as if I were doing the tasks for someone else. All business, just get it done. I also looked to the sky and asked out loud for the strength of my dear mother and her two sisters, now departed. They were warriors and all widowed. So, I just rolled up my proverbial sleeves and marched forward. I knew no matter what, that day would pass. Therefore, getting those tasks over and done with would also pass and take one more load off of my already over taxed shoulders.
You can do this! It’s just a day and time marches on no matter what. Thursday will come and go. Friday will be here before you know it and you will be past the day you dreaded.
I love nell’s advice for the day too!
Good luck and warm hugs!!!
Keep us posted!!!!
Darcie

Adored-That's a great idea. Tomorrow-Starbucks! Baby steps...
Shewearsblack17- Go to Walmart, girl! Show me it can be done.

Darcie-That's great advice. You are a Warrior Woman!

Thanks Fellow Ellen. I value your support.

Deep breaths. Expect it to be difficult but be confident that you can get through it. The outside world is still the same. If you need to cry or a break then take a break. Be kind to yourself.

You can't do much worse than I did the first time I drove the car after Cliff died. I kept smelling something burning but couldn't figure out what it was. I got to my appointment, and when it was over and I got back into the car I figured out what that burning smell was. I had left the hand brake on the entire time I was driving - it was the emergency brake burning! It was a good thing it was a short trip from home!

Try to get a decent night's sleep Wednesday if you can - it will help you stay clearheaded. And not the morning of, but the day before, make sure you drink extra water to counteract heavy crying. Dehydration exacerbates foggy thinking.

If you are very concerned about the drive, can you take a taxi or a bus? Is there a friend or family member who could do the driving instead? There is always a way through.

I hope it all goes well for you. Let us know how you fare that day.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thank you rain for reminding me that the outside world is still the same. A simple but comforting truth.

If you want to stay calm (not driving), take deep breathes and pay attention to the sensation of your breathing. Take notice of your posture. Are you shoulders feeling tight or loose? If they are too tight try to loosen them. Are you slumping? If so try to sit straight. If you start to recall a memory then try to take another deep breathe and try to focus on the sensation of the breath again...

Pretty hard for you to do at this point, but at least you can try.

Martha-Thanks to you I'll certainly remember to check the hand break. And to drink a lot of water (something I have to keep reminding myself to do these days.

Know that I am taking all of you with me on Thursday, but only in the spirit sense. Otherwise I'd have to rent a van.

Too much of a good thing is not a good thing (tongue in cheek)

At my first grief support meeting, a widower told me to always keep a box of Kleenex in the car! I found in the early days I would cry a lot when I was driving. Kind of embarrassing when I was at a stop light, but in those early days you just sometimes have no control of the grief waves. Good to have a way to wipe your eyes and blow your nose while you're driving! We take baby steps in the beginning. You'll do fine, and it may turn out to be a good thing to get out of the house and focus on some other things. Good luck. Hugs to you!