I know that feeling, I miss him and I miss me... *hugs*

Thx Silver55.

All the feelings you are having are normal. When we marry, we become as one. So, when one of us dies, it’s like an amputation. We are not a whole person anymore. It’s painful and we can never be the same again.

My husband has been gone almost 3 months. I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel incomplete, almost like I don’t exist. I know that I am healing, but I dread my life without him. It seems like a very lonely future, as I don’t intend to ever have another relationship.

I pray that you can find a way to restart your life in a new way. Reach out to friends, go to church, and connect with family. Grief is hard....take it a moment at a time. Hugs....Linda

Thanks for your reply Lindonn. Curious as to how you know your healing?

Curious as to how you know your healing?

I lost my wife over 16 months ago,as people have said we wont be the same,i miss her terribly every day,as to the Curious as to how you know your healing? ,i can only speak for myself but upon hearing songs etc that remind me of my wife i used to break down really bad,16 months on i dont break down as bad and tend to remember the good times more than anything,but its day by day cant saywhats gonna happen today,hope this helps....

Thanks TedH. Music sounds like a useful gauge to monitor ones emotions, and my wife and I were avid music buffs. I cringe at the thought of some of the songs we enjoyed.

Rick51, I am only 26 days into this journey of one and you are so correct about losing yourself. There are friends that will want you to be your "old self". They don't understand that there is no "old self" any more. The person you were died with your spouse and you are just trying to find out who your new self is. It is painful and lonely and emotional. Music helps me also. It expresses the emotion that I can't release any other way. I journal when I am playing our favorite songs, writing down everything I am feeling. I don't think I will ever go back and read any of it but it gives me an outlet to pour out those feelings I can't share with anyone else. This also has helped me take baby steps in finding out who the new me will be. I am so sorry that you have to make this journey too.

Hi Rick....I say that I am healing, simply because I don’t cry everyday. However, I avoid things that stir up emotions. Music is a huge factor....I don’t listen to music much. I avoid places we used to go and things we used to do. But also, I find myself thinking about the future and my plans to move to be close to my daughter and grandchildren. I am a little afraid to leave the home we shared together. I feel secure here and close to my husband.

I have been going to a grief share group and this has helped. But most of all, my faith in God has helped. I know He is with me and I seek a closer relationship with God. I have faith that I will see my husband again and never be separated from him again. That is what keeps me going.

I keep telling myself that people go through this everyday and move on. I now know how grief can be so deep and painful. I feel I have the compassion to help someone else as they begin this journey. When we reach out to help others, it also helps us. With God’s help, I will move on, help others and learn to live without my better half. God bless you.....I truly understand your pain. Linda

Thanks Sosammy1 and Lindonn.