Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Don't move on ... MOVE FORWARD!

BandiBlue
BandiBlue
In another thread, the idea of "moving on" was discussed. One post written by Russ used what I think is a much better phrase: "moving forward."

To me, moving on suggests leaving something behind, and I know I can never leave behind all the precious memories that I have of the 12 years that Sam and I had together. He will be with me always.

Moving forward is something that I think we all must do because, like it or not, the calendar pages keep turning, and we must learn to function anew.

I am coming up on 2 years without Sam, and there are still "waves of grief" that hit me out of the blue. But I strive to continue to be the willful and independent person that Sam first admired ... and that's what helps me to move forward!

Wishing everyone strength to take the next step ... and the next ... and the next ...
staygolden3
staygolden3
Yes...willful and independent! Love that! Can't lose sight of the person that we were before this awful fork in the road.
Thanks for the reminder!
Love to you
Darcie
astro42
astro42
I appreciated the title of your post. That was something my husband always used to say. Whenever you would ask him directions, he would say "Don't go straight, go forward!"
kgray41
kgray41
That is EXACTLY what I intend to do!
KimKos
KimKos
That's what I am doing.....its not always easy going forward but what I have learned in my journey is when things get too rough to keep moving its OK to stop and rest.....during rest I normally dump a lot of tears but as each tear falls it is replaced by gratitude.....gratitude that I have a heart that beats full of love...I know this is true because it would not of hurt as bad as it did ...I rely on faith and trust. My husband passed on 12/3/2012....as the end of the year approached I was struggling and confided to a co worker that I did not want to go into the new year...He said to me "You are like a breeze you are meant to move" I then asked him how he knew...his reply was "because I have seen you become a tornado"...He himself would be dead of cancer 7 months after that conversation. It took a long time for me to really understand that message but for me today it signifies strength...the general image of a tornado is of destruction and that's only because those are the ones we learn of...its a force of nature. Sometimes I use the term to help me destruct and blow the hurt out of me....the fear...the doubt...As I write this I think it sounds a little crazy ..how can I rest and be a tornado at the same time...with that thought I now add ..it doesn't matter how ..why....I stand up...use my tornado strength...not give a shit what anyone thinks..and my foot just went another step forward.....
maryelnew
maryelnew
hadn't really thought of it that way, but it is what I am doing. I dont want to "move on" as that would imply leaving my prior life behind. I am however, working very hard to "moving forward" which implies building upon my prior life and to forge my new "now" me. My new me carries all the lessons and love from my past to make a better me. Some days I want to wallow in my old life but most days I can find reason to keep moving forward. One of the things I most admired in my husband from when I 1st met him is that he was one of those people who consciously made the effort to never stop growing. It would be such a dishonor to his memory if I let myself stay stagnant.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
"You are like a breeze, you are meant to move. "

I will try to always remember that. Sharon
jeanatds
jeanatds
Even for as far along as I am, still learning to function anew. Yesterday it dawned on me that I've now been single again for more than half of my life, 28 years and a few months, I don't know why but its made me pause.
Jean