Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Don't Like This New Normal

BarrysKat59
BarrysKat59

Oh, I had a feeling that you were sicker than you or your medical test led me to believe. I am so sorry that I did not listen to that still small voice. Would it have made a difference? Yet, it is so selfish of me to still want you with me. I desire to hear to your voice in my ear, the touch of your dear lips on me as we come together as one, and the warmth of your embrace. The lady at church said the pain comes from the separation of conjoined hearts and souls becoming 2 separate entities again! Is that really true? Must I be separate from you? It does not feel right! Tomorrow I fight with social security. I have to prove that I was your wife. Do I have to part from you- until death do us part? I love you more than ever and I don’t want to marry again – ever. 1 forever love is so much more than some get in their lives, with or without a disability. I hope you can still feel my deep love for you! One minute you were here with me and the next instant you were gone! However, I am trying to move ahead – trying to make plans for an uncertain future BUT I MISS YOU. Our daughter keeps me here, but I would be lying if I said that a big part of me does not want to be with you, like always! It is said that grief is the love that no longer has a home because I can no longer express its depth. My heart hurts more than mere words can san say; there are not enough words to express it! I LOVE and I WUV you for eternity!



 

handg
handg
You put into raw truth what I myself felt but could not express in the beginning.
Your post felt like what could have very well have been an entry in my journal.

Hugs. Time may not heal but it gives us the tools to cope.
koxemetaf
koxemetaf
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rozzie
rozzie
Barryskat, I'm so sorry for your pain. I totally understand how consuming this kind of love can be. I, too, was very lucky to have had such a love.

We had so much fun; loving and living life to its fullest. When I would hear his car pulling up in the driveway, at the end of each work day, I would get goosebumps and butterflies in my tummy. I never imagined that he would live his whole life with me and I would be forced to live the rest of mine without him!

When he was dying in his last few days of life I swear I was sub-human........I knew people in his hospital room were talking to me, I heard nothing. I was on automatic pilot and handled everything and everyone like a robot.

Please know you are not alone there are lots of us zombies out in the world trying to get through every day.....one minute at a time!

Roz