Some habits are just hard to break.

Karatxmo,
I know exactly where you are coming from...my wife has been gone since July 19 and I still consider her preferences on just about everything I do. Grocery shopping, doing my laundry, even cleaning the kitchen. I can't stop wandering if I'm doing it the way she would like. Every night when I go to bed and turn out the light, I have to tell her goodnight (maybe pretending she is there...I don't know).. anyway I just wanted to let you know you are not the only one with these thoughts.
God Bless you..

For me its making the bed the minute I get up. This was a very important thing to my husband. Before he was in my life I just did not care if the bed was made or not. You know the old jokes about wives "training" their husbands but for us it was the other way around. He was very into his routine and I was more laid back. I think we made a good team being opposites. He became more relaxed and I got my act together...sort of. ;-)

I too have continued certain rituals that Ernie had taught me. I do not think I do it out of habit as much as things he did make sense and I do smile when I catch myself doing those things.
I also say good night to him as I turn out the light every night as you do shellofaman. Until I read you say maybe pretending she is there, I never thought about it. I just know I feel better saying good night to him.
Best wishes everyone, and hugs

I have incorporated some of my wife habits into my life which I think is totally normal because they were half of who we were. I also want to preserve her memory by doing some things some ways. But I am also reaching out and trying new things as I redefine my life. I believe we need to do whatever gives us peace and comfort. Gerald

I believe holding those things keeps us secure in the things that remain. So much of our life has changed, we need the stability of keeping traditional ways of doing things. It gave me comfort to be able to focus on the ways we did things. Sharon

i think its perfectly natural. For so long, they were our other half, making us complete. My wife passed on 25th October and though i consider my grief to still be very raw, I take comfort in doing things the way we always did. Its almost as if she is in the next room, or will walk in at any moment and I want things to be just as she'd like them. I too turn out the light and say goodnight, sleep tight and I love you, just as we did every other night, the only thing missing is the tender kiss, cuddling up and falling asleep. There are some things however, where I will never match her exacting standards, but just as long as she knows I am trying.....take care

lol, there are some things that I thought were not needed but I continue to do them anyway.

Always wash off the top of cans before opening them. The vacuum will suck some dust particles ( even an atom or so is too much ) when you open the can. One of my main jobs in the kitchen was to wash off the cans and then dry them off before opening them so she could cook. Still do it now although I only open cans to heat stuff up.

Always toss anything with an expire date expired. Of course you know that milk will turn into kyptronite at midnight of the expire date. ( research states that those expire dates always error on the safe side ), but I toss stuff all the time.

My husband was meticulous and I am more laid back. God love him, he compromised. We complimented each other, I think that is why we were together so long. We had our ups and downs, but we were at our happiest at the time he started his heart issues. His yard was his sanctuary, loved having a glass of wine on the patio he designed, listening to the fountain. I am keeping up his yard, keeping the fountain clean, and making sure things are tidy. I say good morning each day, and kiss his urn. I know he is here with me.

Oh my gosh, I love this group! It makes me smile. My husband was meticulous also and I wasnt so much. He was such a mechanic that when he was healthy we never had to call a repairman for anything like cars, washers, dryers, plumbing, etc. When the grandkids would come over he would make sure that they shut the screen door so it wouldnt blow off the hinges. He would count toilet flushes because we have an old pump and it's under the house. He wiped cans off before we ate or drank from them, etc. etc. I had my kids and grandkids here for Thanksgiving and I found myself obsessing over toilet flushes and back door closings. It made me laugh and I knew he was here with us. Thank you. Shiloah

My husband was very neat too. I would never wash the dishes right after eating, but he did and now I do. I can hear his voice and I'll say "okay I \'ll wash the dishes." He did most of the cooking and would clean the house if I wasn't feeling well. He never fussed, he just did it. He trained me well because now I make a special effort because I feel it pleases him.

After thinking about yall's posts. I looked around. And decided I still buy the coffee he liked. So yesterday. I bought a different coffee. It was really good. It was one of those things you had to stop and think about, instead of just reaching for the coffee you usually buy. This stuff takes thinking. I don't want to think right now.