A support group is beneficial. A local hospital or church may sponsor a group. It's good to hear what has happened to others in our new journey intertwined with grief. As people share we can learn about some of their coping mechanisms.

Give yourself credit, you have returned to work. That step is significant.
It takes time....
Some days positive, some days challenging...
It does level out after awhile but we all grieve in our own way.

Exhausted, yes. Now we have responsibilities that our husband took care of.
Scary, for sure, a new journey.
Terrible, we remain to pick up the pieces.
Life isn't fair but tomorrow comes
Find something positive in each day.
Blessings
jdp

Monday will be my 19th Anniversary to my husband. It's been 49 days since I was last able to talk to him and I so desperately need it and know it's not going to happen. To make it worse I'm recoverying from injuries from the accident as well. I do take a medication, but except for it stopping me from crying all the time, I don't really feel any differently, which is good cause I have 4 children to look after. I went back to work but physically I can only handle 4 hours plus the drive right now.

In a way it's nice he went holding you because he was doing something he loved to do. He was giving you love. My last moment with my husband was watching him ripped from the seat beside me and he flew out of the car. I see it everytime I close my eyes.

Give yourself a break and remember your love. There is no time limit on things. Everyone is different. Keep talking to people who can understand what you are going through because I find they are the ones you can be honest with. There are no words except it sucks.

hugs. i am so very sorry. :(

Hello Stacy. My husband died several months ago, and I too feel very much alone. We never had children either, just each other. I truly understand your loss. I have been through some very difficult things in my life, but this is by far the worst. We need to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Some days you will slide back. Feel your emotions -- don't run from them. It gets easier, then it gets harder, then easier and on and on. I don't know that we ever truly heal from losing such great love. Praying helps me. At first, I was so angry with God that I couldn't pray, so I enlisted friends to pray for me. I hope you are blessed with at least one good friend you can be totally real with who won't judge you or try to limit your grief process. In the first month after losing my man, I literally felt like my heart had shattered and felt physical pain in my chest. I would allow myself an hour of deep gut wrenching sobbing in bed for an hour at a time, and then force myself to get up and do something. I don't know if any of this is helpful, but know that I understand and that I care. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I found writing my husband and letter help.ed. I would share my feelings with him and my frustration as well.
I also attended a group of widowed people sponsored by hospice. Know your feelings are normal and give yourself permission to feel them.

During a divorce that precipitated tonnes of stress in my life, I took up meditation and it was very helpful. The basic thing I learnt that was so helpful was....and it's hard to describe, was that somethings in life you just have to let be. A death, a divorce, a disease or whatever. That this was just life and suffering is often a part of it but that you can control your thoughts and how you react to life events. And stress/anxiety/panic etc. all originates in your head. Sure, you can have adrenaline gland problems or physical problems that release too many chemicals into your bloodstream, but most of this stress/depression/anxiety starts in your head with your thoughts which you can control!!!! Now, to come to this realization wasn't easy. My meditation course was 10 days long, participants took a vow of silence, meals were prepared for us, no books, phones, literature etc. were allowed, all that we did was learn to meditate from the master. There were a lot of breaks during the day where you could walk the grounds, sit under a tree, but the bell always brought us back to the big room where we slowly, bit by bit, learned to meditate. There was no religious slant to it, and it was FREE! yes Free! you could donate if you wanted to at the end of the course, but no one asks for money at anytime. And donations are entirely up to you and your means. It was called Vipassana meditation. It's taken from Buddhism (I'm not a buddhist) and there are so many variations of Buddhism but none of this matters. Try any kind of mediation that helps you control your thoughts. there are centres all over the world for the particular from I took. It's all about being 'mindful' as the new catch phrase in the west calls it. here's the website, if you have time, you can try it. https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index Just imagine where your mind can go with 10 days of focused direction with No outside interruptions WHATSOEVER! This is impossible to accomplish on your own, but will equip you with the ability to meditate when you need to at home for short periods. It's not a retreat or place to seek refuge, and if you have serious problems, you probably won't be allowed in if there is a chance it will disturb others. If you want to leave, you can. I remember one girl did. What you take home, is your new ability to further your practice on your own.

Anyway, to answer your questions, Yes, mediation can be very helpful. Vipassana might not be for you, but there are lots of others available. And Yes, yoga helped me through a stressful period of time too once. I think its the exercise. The release of feel-good hormones. As one doctor told me once, if you are suffering from stress, anxiety, or depression, the first thing you should include is exercise into your life before popping pills etc. Humans are designed to be active to a certain degree. Modern life has robbed many of us of achieving this minimum amount of activity that we were designed for. It has consequences. Anti-depressents and other pills are being prescribed like Candy in record amounts.

Stacey I'm so sorry for you loss. I lost my husband last March and found yoga to be a saving grace for my mental health. Check out YouTube there are tons of free videos on yoga for any skill level or guided meditations for healing. I'm not big on group things and I find this works really good for me. Message me if you're interested in specific suggestions.
Laurie