Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
SORRY SO LONG!!
I am a supervisor where I work and I have a staff that would always hit on me. He knew I was in a relationship and would question me about have we set a date and where is my ring. We had many conversations of him flirting and trying to get me over to his place. I never went and I kept our relationship friendly but not as to cross the line out of respect for Brandon which he understood. He is a older gentleman, and some of our conversations I would tell to my daughter God mom. Well she started working for the company and ended up working with the same consumer that the other guy worked with. Of course him having to train her they began to talk. He did not know we knew each other and she would often times tell me of their conversations.
She would say that he had no life because he was always worried about the consumer. She picked at him stating he looked like he used to be fat and she felt like he was gay. So one Saturday she was having trouble with the consumer and he had left his door open because he had worked the previous day. She would fwd me the text of him hitting on her and said he invited her to come over. I said jokingly go. She called me and said how she look going over there and she been talking about him. Shortly after that is when Brandon passed away. I went on vacation a couple weeks after that. One day particular she did not call me I paid it really no attention. She informs me that the night before she spent the night with him and that is why she didn't call me.
The next day she text saying she hadn't been back over there but he wanted her to spend the night she just wanted to know what I had to say about it. I told her she gonna do what she wants anyway and she already went and didn't tell me so what I say doesn't matter. Fast fwd to us going out for my bday. She said she was creeping one night and got pulled over. Well as she starts to drink she tells me that they have been sleeping together and laughed about it. The next morning she would say things about their conversations but wouldn't say his name.
I feel like she is wrong because she knew he had hit on me before. I never looked at him in that way because I was in a relationship. But if I was just wanting to do something outta grief or if in the future when I was ready I can't even see if he would be someone I would want to deal with because she went there behind my back. Am I wrong for being upset with her? I talk to her but not like I used to because I honestly feel like that was messed up what she did. He did not know we knew each other but she knew about our conversations. Even as a older person how do you as a mother, friend do that?
I am a supervisor where I work and I have a staff that would always hit on me. He knew I was in a relationship and would question me about have we set a date and where is my ring. We had many conversations of him flirting and trying to get me over to his place. I never went and I kept our relationship friendly but not as to cross the line out of respect for Brandon which he understood. He is a older gentleman, and some of our conversations I would tell to my daughter God mom. Well she started working for the company and ended up working with the same consumer that the other guy worked with. Of course him having to train her they began to talk. He did not know we knew each other and she would often times tell me of their conversations.
She would say that he had no life because he was always worried about the consumer. She picked at him stating he looked like he used to be fat and she felt like he was gay. So one Saturday she was having trouble with the consumer and he had left his door open because he had worked the previous day. She would fwd me the text of him hitting on her and said he invited her to come over. I said jokingly go. She called me and said how she look going over there and she been talking about him. Shortly after that is when Brandon passed away. I went on vacation a couple weeks after that. One day particular she did not call me I paid it really no attention. She informs me that the night before she spent the night with him and that is why she didn't call me.
The next day she text saying she hadn't been back over there but he wanted her to spend the night she just wanted to know what I had to say about it. I told her she gonna do what she wants anyway and she already went and didn't tell me so what I say doesn't matter. Fast fwd to us going out for my bday. She said she was creeping one night and got pulled over. Well as she starts to drink she tells me that they have been sleeping together and laughed about it. The next morning she would say things about their conversations but wouldn't say his name.
I feel like she is wrong because she knew he had hit on me before. I never looked at him in that way because I was in a relationship. But if I was just wanting to do something outta grief or if in the future when I was ready I can't even see if he would be someone I would want to deal with because she went there behind my back. Am I wrong for being upset with her? I talk to her but not like I used to because I honestly feel like that was messed up what she did. He did not know we knew each other but she knew about our conversations. Even as a older person how do you as a mother, friend do that?
As I'm from another country I don't quite get all the terms you use but I think I get the main story (and people are people the world over)
Without knowing you or the others, I wonder whether she thought you weren't interested so it was ok for her.
For me it would come to down to whether it is something worth losing a good friend over. I know my emotions are all over the place and I don't trust my feelings which change all the time.
I know I have jumped to judgement and upset way too quickly very many times recently and am trying to take time to breathe and calm down.
I hope you find a way to keep both your friend and your work colleague.
Hugs
Sandy
.my emotions are all over the place and I'm super sensitive. Thanks!!
Kymberly