Hi,
I am so sorry for your loss. The disbelief never really does go away.
I lost my Rich very suddenly, spoke to him on the phone, laughed and talked about the upcoming weekend and within two hours, I learned he had passed of a massive heart attack. For months after, I thought it wasn't real and would look for him everywhere I went.
Coming up on almost a year and half later, I guess I am accepting it more, but that disbelief still lingers in my brain.
I am also the only caretaker of my mother, my siblings do nothing to help out. It was always Rich and I that helped her, now it is my task alone.
You will find many friends here who are going through the same feelings you are. My love to you every day...Mo

Olisa.....

I am so very sorry that you have suffered the loss of your loved one. There is no explaining the degree of pain and loss that is experienced as we try to make some sense of what has happened in our lives. Your loss is so recent and therefore all-consuming, and understandably so. This is absolutely normal, so please take heart that you are not alone in your feelings--or numbness--whatever is the case at any given time. In the beginning, the grief is overwhelming and then on top of that you have the responsibility of taking care of your mother. The journey you have been forced to begin is bumpy, to say the least, but by the grace of God there are those who will bring you comfort and support as well as time being extremely helpful in the healing process.

I'm so glad you have found the Daily Strength Web site so early in your journey. Words cannot describe how marvelous the people are here at DS. They are eager to help those beginning this frightful experience of living with loss. Take a day at a time, being very, very considerate of yourself and your health. Grief can take a huge toll on the survivor. Let the tears flow as they are normal and cleansing, but inch your way forward. I know this sounds impossible, but our choices are few when pulling ourselves together and facing a strange new world. It's doable but will be the most difficult thing you will ever be called upon to do. My prayers are with you as you begin your search for peace and acceptance. TJ

I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes a long time to process it and you never really will quite. You'll find that you can't make even the simplest decisions without him there to bounce things off of.

I'm glad that you found this site. It's been very supportive and comforting to me and hopefully it will be the same to you.

Hugs, Gail

Also sorry for your loss.

I can't remember how long it took for the disbelief to go because like you it was very quick but I think a month is still very early for you.

Different people have different timescales but as I say one month is still very early.

I still am in disbelief. I know it is so, it has been over seven months, but it was so sudden and unexpected that it is just hard to believe it is true. I am so sorry for your loss, sudden loss throws you into another place that takes so long to find your way out of. You have so many decisions to make and your mind thinks to discuss them with your spouse...but he's not there...each thought brings you to the realization that he's gone. You wake up in the morning, if you can even sleep, with he is dead as your first waking thought.
You are numb, you will go through the motions of what you need to do. The numbness will wear off in it's own time for you.
Many here have walked before you and will help comfort you and will understand your every thought and tear. There is much comfort here in writing your journal, sharing and helping others. You are among friends...

I can't say how sorry I am for your loss. Disbelief is one of those things that is hard to understand. I lost my husband 7 months ago to cancer and even though I knew he was going to die it doesn't make the acceptance any easier. I still hope for him to walk through the door or when my cell phone rings at work ...how nice it would be if it were him. But the fact is it is not going to happen and I just keep telling myself that and it does get easier as the weeks and months march on...I also miss sharing my day....that is why this site is so helpful for all of us...

The sharing is what I miss the most too. It is just about all of it. Sharing our life, little details no one else cares about, mutual memories, inside jokes, relating stories, you name it, it's all about the sharing. It is so early on for you I think you are still in shock. It is excruciating and I am so sorry you are going through it too. I found althought I had no concentration, and still lackling it, I bought alot of books on Amazon and read through them bit by bit, scanning, taking bits out the helped at each time. I still read alot. Glad your on this site. Try to take it slow and let yourself feel it. It is uncomfortable and down right painful. I recently started therapy and I find that helps. I lost my husband, soulmate, Rob 19 week ago today. Hug, Donna

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 2 months into this, so I'm not the voice of experience. I'm past the shock part, now just numb. Can't say that's better but it's better than playing his last day on earth over and over.

It is a rollercoaster ride and you will have some good days. Rely on God and keep your friends close. If you belong to a church, perhaps talking with someone in the clergy will help. At any rate, we're all here for you. You'll find understanding people in this group.

I to am so sorry for your loss. It took me 10 months from May to what would have been our 40 anniversary in March to really accept that he was gone.That was the hardest month for me,I thought I was losing my mind so I started searching for support groups and found DS, I read posts and realized others was dealing with the same feelings. After the first year anniversary a few weeks back I feel better I keep busy and try to be thankful for what I do have.
My thoughts and Prayers will be with you.

This is a great place to be when I am alone which is most of the time writing is good therapy but the sleeping is the hard part I sleep broken hours it drives me crazy. I don't want to take any drugs that are addicting or cause hallucinations I am going to try melatonin hopefully it will help I am tired all day then at night the mind just doesn't shut down. I am so thankful to everyone that has responded to my situation. God is looking out for us but it's so difficult to accept all these different changes and challenges. Thanks for being here.

I am exactly where you're at. I also lost my beloved husband a month ago. He also was my soulmate, my provider, my protector, my confidant, my best friend. I miss all the little things. Playing "toesies" in bed, that get home kiss, that phone call from work for no reason at all. Watering the lawn together. Every little detail of my life is changed forever. I too wonder how I will ever move on. I still cry all the time. (I'm crying now). Yesterday, I was walking down the street. A woman behind me said to another "...gotta call my husband..." I broke down. I'll never be able to say that again.

So sorry for your loss as well it really stinks and I gotta say I just hate my life right now, I was just like you and your husband we were best pals ever and called each other during the day so many plans all gone and I wonder how can I do this alone now? I just pray that it's like everyone says God has a better plan. I can't imagine what it could be. It's so soon for us my Luis died April 26th I can't even type his name without tears coming down my face. Well God bless you and stay well I'm off to get some tissues thanks for the response.