Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Disappear/Appear

Mgould
Mgould
Has anyone else had anything disappear then appear? Sometimes I lose things then they seem back where I thought they were but this was different. The other day I noticed some "new" checks from when I first opened a checking account in the side of my wallet. I have 2 checking accounts and this is one I don't write checks on.

I had someone come from Permaseal the other day and wanted to give him one of the checks from this account. I was 100% certain I never took the checks out of the side of my wallet but when I went to give the check it wasn't there. As he sat there doing paper work, etc. I went thru my wallet about 20 times - it made no sense. I had just seen these checks. I had wanted to use this account but ended up giving him a check from the other. I kept repeatedly looking thru my wallet - everywhere - they just weren't there.

The next day I was in the store and looked thru my wallet for a credit card - and there were the checks - in the place I originally thought that I had looked 20 times.
Joely
Joely
LOL.....yep, I've done it too! You aren't alone in that. Hugs, Joely
deleted_user
deleted_user
This has happened to me way too frequently. All the way back to misplacing the entire package that the cemetery had sent me somehow! I have read that a major component of "widow brain" is misplacing documents over and over again, so at least I was prepared for this.
Hugs, Gail
deleted_user
deleted_user
yep, me, too. just recently i agreed to take my daughter's dog to the vet and i asked her how i was to get inside her home while she was at work. she told me she had given me a key months ago and i just didn't remember. once i looked at my key ring, there was the key. i am constantly losing and misplacing everything. at the beginning i just threw everything out that i didn't want to deal with -- now i am not even sure what i actually threw out. now i am just stacking things up in some sort of order and have actually bought folders -- but then i end up with categories like miscellaneous and everything seems to be just that, miscellaneous!
Mgould
Mgould
I've misplaced things for years - constantly losing keys. But - this is different. I saw the checks the day before but then the next day I looked thru my wallet over and over again and they weren't there.

Then the following day - they were in the exact place I had remembered them being. I'm not saying I had misplaced them -I'm saying there were there, then they were gone - then they were back in the same place again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I believe you. I have water mysteries. Pools or drops of water appear out of nowhere for no apparent reason. Hang on.
prtlycloudy
prtlycloudy
That's kinda spooky. Maybe the mountain of paperwork we had to deal with upon our spouse's death and the shock factor that lingers long afterward has something to do with this too.
It is hard to stay organized when there is so much stuff in front of me these days.
Hang in there!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
After my husband died, I was looking for his wallet. I tore the house apart. I looked in one particular drawer, and emptied the contents several times, and it wasn't there. Then weeks later, I opened the drawer and there it was, just sitting there staring at me! I almost fainted. It was right on top, and I couldn't have missed THAT. Sheesh.
wendywillow
wendywillow
Oh my gawd, I am so glad you posted this. I thought it was just me and that I was going completely crazy! My husband's son was staying with me right after his dad's death, going through his things and taking mementos (which I told him to do) - carefully putting everything he wanted in full view. Well if anything is "missing" I email him (he lives far away and accuse him of taking it!!).

I do understand the difference you speak of. Several times, I've done the same - mostly with paperwork. Receipts that I knew were in my purse. Couldn't find them. Also, like somebody else said - the funeral paperwork or whatever - gone. And then found once again - right where it should be!
I hate this!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate it too. Can anyone tell me when it will stop?
julie50501
julie50501
One night for some reason I just had to find the album from our wedding. I looked everywhere, tore the house apart, and finally, exhausted, I went into the living room and there it was on a lamp table in plain sight. Go figure!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was afraid to tell anyone that I was having this same problem. I looked for the cordless phone forever the other day and couldn't find it. Then later looked again and it was on its charger exactly where it should have been. I feel better now that I know we all have the same problem. Thanks