Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Patswife 05/25/2010

I have a dilema, kind of related to Pat's passing, but not really. I am 60 next month and I got an email from a friend meant for another person about a surprise birthday party for me, put on by our adult daughters. I did not read it, I deleted it. I left a voicemail for the person that sent it to me in error, but I don't want the girls to know as I am sure they have put a lot of thought into it. What to do? Am I correct to ignore it and pretend I am surprised? Help please. Pat was to be 65 this year. Big birthdays for both of us. Hugs, Wendy

deleted_user 05/25/2010

I don't now. LOL Will your friend rat you out? Go with your heart.

deleted_user 05/26/2010

Well, you didn't read it so you dont know exactly what is all going on. So, my "surprize" (lil' giggle) answer is cherish that you are loved and let them have their day in celebrating you! HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, WE CELEBRATE YOU TOO.

Lininsocal 05/26/2010

Allow your daughters their surprise...

Patswife 05/26/2010

So sweet, thanks. The email has been forgotton! Email.....what email??? LOL

Parmela 05/26/2010

What a sweet and loving thing for your daughters to do. Give them their surprise, it would mean a lot to them.

........and have a fabulous time at your party.

Happy Birthday (early)!

deleted_user 05/26/2010

wow...how fun...yes try to forget about it : ) and have a ball!!!!!!!

deleted_user 05/26/2010

Definitely enjoy the surprise and their excitement. Happy birthday, big day!

deleted_user 05/26/2010

A very similar thing happened to my husband and I on our 25th wedding anniversary. My daughter in law planned the whole thing and she accidentally mailed my brother in law's invitation to our address. My husband and I never let on that we knew. But my DIL ended up spilling the beans herself a couple of days before because she just couldn't keep it a secret! Not sure if we could have pulled off genuine "surprised" expressions, but it was a great event regardless.

deleted_user 05/26/2010

Enjoy the party and the effort your girls are putting into it. And...practice in the mirror looking really, really surprised! Have some fun, you deserve it! Cindy xxoo

Shrn 05/26/2010

Since you don't know when or where the party is or who will be there you still can be surprised. Just smile a lot and laugh a lot and try to make it a new memory. Sharon

deleted_user 05/28/2010

Yes, absolutely ignore the e-mail and be very surprised and happy that your children love you so much to want to do something so beautiful for your birthday! It is a day to be celebrated with the ones you love. Unfortunately, your husband will not be able to celebrate it, but you will have his blessings from heaven and I'm sure he will whisper something in your ear if you listen intently. Feel the love of your family, that is what it is all about at this time. You will be honoring your husband with this type of behavior. Happy Birthday!!! p.s. I'll be 56 in two weeks -- I am also scared to death.

Patswife 05/28/2010

Age is only a number right?
I'm told I look much younger and altho since March 17th I feel 100, I WILL enjoy the party my girls have planned! Thank you for your response. Hugs, Wendy

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