Lucky daughter, that is a good question, it seems almost immediately people would tell me that ....oh girl your still young (43), and pretty, you got a pretty shape you'll find someone else, but I'm like No, I know my husband was the love of my life, even though he was my 2nd husband, he was 10 years older than me , and he treated me like his queen. I just don't see anyone being able to step up to the plate doing treating me the way that he did, especially here in this small gossipy town, I think the men here are worse off than the woman, when it comes to gossip lol. But that is a really good question I would like to know the answer to that as well. I have people say, well you know he would want you to move on, I'm like you didn't know my husband, because there is absolutely no way he would want me to be with anyone else. Especially here. I also think that maybe that is one reason I am so determined to leave , just to see, if there is someone else out there for me , at the rate I'm going, waking up every morning at 430am just to do nothing all day but sit in bedroom, he definitely won't find me here lol...so yes fellow widows and widower what are your thoughtsite on this. I would like to know as well..

My thoughts are the same I can not get past How can anyone ever love me the way he did? His love was so powerful how is that possible ? I know I will see him again in heaven and that keeps me going. I would like to move on but just don't know if I can again.

For the first few years I couldn't imagine ever being with anyone else. Your feelings are perfectly normal. In fact, until you find the person you are alone, I wouldn't advise anything other than concentrating on yourself. Develop doing things that you enjoy. Find your happiness and enjoy the freedom you don't appreciate nown.
It's probably difficult to understand, because we still are acutely hurting from our loss. While you work on your happiness you will find what is best for you. Sharon

So Shrn, did you find love

First of all....I'm a little apprehensive about posting this here as it really should be on the W/W faith forum....I hope no one is offended so here goes.....a bit long but here's my thoughts on your question...

I believe that heaven doesn't have the human feelings that you're describing. Notice I said "human feelings". Heavenly love is all consuming for every one and everything. You're not greeted as husband, wife, son, daughter, mother, father etc...you know however that there is a deep connection of souls with your loved ones and you greet them with that connecting love. Yes...your marriage was good and you want to be together again.....but what if a marriage is bad on earth and a partner dies....when the other joins them....then what? Is everything hunky dory? Does love prevail? Who really knows?
My stepdad used to have a favorite question to ask our priests. He would say...if heaven is truly heaven and everyone is so happy and content...what happens when a baseball pitcher goes to heaven? He wants to pitch a strike on everyone and every time he throws the ball. If that's true, then what happens when a batter goes to heaven. He wants to hit the ball and have grand slams every time he swings. So…who gets their way? Well the answer usually was that they both do...since heaven is pure joy and love.
The Bible leads us to expect a deep, satisfying relationship with everyone.
My feeling about this is that we will not forget the close relationships we had here on earth. They will still be there but even better. All the relationships we have in heaven will be like that.....close, loving and unbelievably fulfilling.
I found this article very interesting....


"Question: "Will there be marriage in heaven?"

Answer: The Bible tells us, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30). This was Jesus’ answer in response to a question concerning a woman who had been married multiple times in her life —whom would she be married to in heaven (Matthew 22:23-28)? Evidently, there will be no such thing as marriage in heaven. This does not mean that a husband and wife will no longer know each other in heaven. This also does not mean that a husband and wife could not still have a close relationship in heaven. What it does seem to indicate, though, is that a husband and wife will no longer be married in heaven.

Most likely, there will be no marriage in heaven simply because there will be no need for it. When God established marriage, He did so to fill certain needs. First, He saw that Adam was in need of a companion. “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18). Eve was the solution to the problem of Adam’s loneliness, as well as his need for a “helper,” someone to come alongside him as his companion and go through life by his side. In heaven, however, there will be no loneliness, nor will there be any need for helpers. We will be surrounded by multitudes of believers and angels (Revelation 7:9), and all our needs will be met, including the need for companionship.

Second, God created marriage as a means of procreation and the filling of the earth with human beings. Heaven, however, will not be populated by procreation. Those who go to heaven will get there by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; they will not be created there by means of reproduction. Therefore, there is no purpose for marriage in heaven since there is no procreation or loneliness."

So....in summary, Love will surround us all.....you will still know and love them and others familiar to your soul...... but in a much higher capacity.
Just my opinion....but you asked....
:)
Darcie

It is not true that you can have only one true love, just as it would be untrue to think a mother or father could only care about one of their children instead of all of them. The term "soulmate" gets bandied about an awful lot here (and has for the almost 9 years I have been here), but the truth is that you can have more than one soulmate.

The question of what happens in heaven will get you a wide variety of answers, but I tend to think more or less as Darcie does - i.e., we are permanently bound to each other through all the realms of existence but in the next world "marriage" in the physical sense is left behind. I fully expect to be with both of my husbands.

There have been signs and indications to me that Cliff chose Mark for me. I feel absolutely no guilt about being with my new husband Mark, and he is also a widower (we met here). And love is wonderful this time around, too. It is best, however, to give yourself at least a year to work through finding yourself (and what your spouse loved about you in the first place!) before venturing back into the dating waters. You deserve the time to grieve and take care of yourself. I didn't look for love - it found me. It's like that sometimes.

Hope this helps.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I agree with Darcie and Martha. We have been changed forever. I'm a stronger more independent person. Did I want this? No freaking way! But I have become a different person. Another love? Who knows what God has in store for me. I'm not looking and truly Brian set the bar so high I don't think another man could come close. I'm just satisfied being me right now. I left moms house at 19 married, divorced 10 years later, married again for 24 years was never ever alone. I was terrified! But now, I enjoy it. Just me and Buster
Rachel

I agree with darcie and martha, I now know, and have discernment, that sean is helping me from heaven,, and I do believe there is no marriage in heaven, but our total and complete love not only for our husbands/wives, but our parents, sisters,brothers, etc..Why would we need to be physically connected or deemed "married" when in a way we all will be family. I believe our loved ones will know one another, and know the deep love we share/d, but the need to be married ,will no longer be needed in the eternal life. I hope I have not offended anyone. I know my husband, would want me happy while here on earth, until we meet again in heaven. So he would be supportive of me wanting to have companionship, since he is not here physically to be my love....I'm not ready yet, but perhaps someday I will enjoy loving someone and them loving me. Much love and big hugs carla

Who am I to argue with Jesus? Things will not be just different in heaven, but way way better. We only have a taste of love here in this natural dimension. But there, I can't even imagine the love we will not only be living in, but the love that we will be. For like He is, so shall we be. And God is love. But, we can only imagine until we too arrive at our eternal destination. All I know is that it will be good. And we will be reunited with our loved ones, spirit to spirit, which is the connection we had with our spouses and why this grief is so incredible painful. We all suffered a deep spiritual wound and lost a large part of who each of us were. Beyond that, I can picture all our spouses having one big party up there, rejoicing as we connect here with one another. And they are all cheering us on and without a doubt they already know each other and everyone else there. God's blessings upon us all. ~~~ Scottie

Like Darcie and Martha, I believe we "now see through a glass darkly" that the love we experience in Heaven is unlike anything we have ever experienced here on earth. I don't worry about Heaven, I concentrate on the here and now. I too believe we can have more than one "true love" or "soul mate", I love Pat just as much as I love J.R. Different men, different loves, but just as profound. I also agree with Sharon though, at first you concentrate on becoming the "me" after the "we". Find out who you are and learn to build a live you love. It takes time and effort but is well worth it.
Hugs,
Val

Being a widower for one month this Saturday I read the replies and can only say "wow" and Thank You all.

I was 48 when Howie passed and early on in my grieve journey , letting the comments of others play on y mind, I would find myself wondering "Is this it?" yet I was certain that I did not want anyone else.
But like a roller coaster , my ways of thinking would change from one tome to the next. Insecurities were playing a strong influence on my emotions. Going out to events, I would come home and wonder if I should start dating, log into a dating site only to panic and delete the account the next morning.
Basically as my grieve move further along I realised that it was normal to have those mixed feelings. It was also a great reason not to act on anything until I was more in control of who I really was as "me" now that I was no longer "we" .
Almost 4 years since he passed and now that I have come a long way, I am back to wondering if someone else will come into my life. I also understand that on the other side there are no marriage as others have said.
Recently I was at a medium and received a message to the effect that Howie was aware that I was wondering if I would spend the rest of my life alone and he said not too worry and to just relax, it will happen but he will chose him for me. Well if I am so blessed and it is meant to be, it will happen just as meeting Howie happened. I do believe in faith and I do believe in Heaven and that those who passed before us will be there to greet us when our time comes but not at husband or wife but rather as loving spirits ...