Michelle, that sounds truly awful! Do you want the kids back? I don't know what your situation ism but I can make an educated guess that she took them back as much for the money she will get for them (Social Security survivor benefits until they are 16, as well as money for herself for caring for them) rather than maternal affection.

Have you talked to a lawyer? It is illegal for her to be claiming them when she didn't qualify and you did. Your first year you can file married - joint tax status and take the deductions. Her taking them is wrong. You need either a certified tax preparer/CPA or a lawyer to protect YOUR rights on this. The government expects you to file your husband's last return, and in order to do that properly, I think you are going to need help.

If the kids were taken away from her, she should not have been able to just whisk them back away from you, unless there was a provision in the court orders that would allow her to do so.

You really need a lawyer and/or a CPA on this. I am so sorry you have to contend with this on top of everything else!

Sending you some Love and Big Hugs,
Martha

Martha,
The tax situation isn't that difficult. I have to now file a paper return for both federal and state. When the IRS gets my return they will see that two people are trying to claim them and will investigate who has the right to claim them. That should be me since they were with us for over half of the year. It's just the hassle and frustration of having to deal with her.

I would love to have the kids living with me but step parents don't have a lot of rights unless you can prove the parent unfit which in my experience isn't easy to do. The children are at an age where they could have input as to where they live. My step son would probably chose to stay with her because he wanted to be there when he was living with us. Even though he's now failing several classes when he never had an F while living with us. My step daughter would feel torn and I really don't want to put her in the middle of it. I would just like some visitation with the kids which I know she's not going to agree to if I ask. I am contacting an attorney about that. I am able to talk to the kids right now but just waiting for her to stop me from doing that.

I really just posted to get it off my chest and vent but would love to hear what others might have dealt with and how they resolved it.

Thanks,
Michelle

Aaaaargh!!! As for the taxes, you can re-file and claim them as long as you can prove that you had them and provided 50% or more of their support for the year claimed. IRS will help you with this. And I question the legality of her taking the children if she wasn't the custodial parent. I think you need an attorney's advice on this. You do need professional help here....a good CPA or tax preparer and an attorney. It sounds to me like your well being and that of the children is at stake here. I know it's even more stress added to an already stressful situation, but to get it all untangled and made right is going to require just a little more work on your part, which will be well worth it in the long run. Wishing you every success and peace.

I'm sorry for your loss and the additional stress put on you. At a time like this, we certainly don't need this unnecessary burden. I don't know the legal part of this so can only agree with what's been said. I do know, however, you need to take care of you right now. Put yourself as a priority. It's hard, I know, but it's important. The children know that you are available to them and depending on their ages hopefully they will keep in contact with you. Sharon

You do need legal council. Gather as much info as you can to present to council. Start with the custody court documents. As you said, there is a reason the bio-mother did not have custody. The fact that she did not support them also would weigh in your favor.

As for the taxes, she can not claim the kids. She was not the custodial parent for more than 1/2 of the year and did not support them. She sounds like a sorry piece of crap that does not intend to give her kids a good life.

I would also like to know if she filed with the court that she was taking custody. That would be interesting..

I wish you the best with this.

Maggie

Maggie,
No she did not file with the court that she was taking the kids. Things were hard enough on the kids with his death and I knew my step son wanted to be with her so I chose to take the highroad and not a scene. I felt she ultimately would have gained custody of the kids so why put them in the middle.

She is definitely a piece of crap. Now my 12 year old step daughter is playing baby sitter to her two younger half sibling twins who are like 4 1/2. This is all tearing me up inside. Every week it's something different. It had been quite a while since I had to take any of the medicine my doctor gave me to help me through this but one night last week I had to so I could sleep and had to do it again last night.

My ex husband hurt his back at work over a year ago and has been out of work. He's had several surgeries on it and just told us today that he got not so good news on his health.

I think I deserve to be DONE! I think it might be time to find some friends and escape things for a weekend.

I think you should speak to a lawyer. It may not have been legal for her to take the children, and furthermore, it may not have been legal for you to allow her to take the children. I don't know. You may be able to get custody of the kids based on her previous history, and become their foster parent. You may also be able to report what she is doing based on your 12-year old step-daughter being out in charge of her siblings. In some states, like Florida I know, there is a minimum age requirement for leaving kids in the care of other kids. I don't know what it is in GA, but I would urge you to speak to a lawyer.

Here is the information on how to find a lawyer to speak to in your area. It may be free, or the consultation may require a small fee - according to the website $45. A small price to pay, really, to find out your rights and what you can do for the kids, if anything:

http://www.atlantabar.org/?lrishome

I hope this helps.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Martha,
The children are in NY now not GA so the attorney has to be in NY. I talked with more than one attorney in GA before letting the children go with her. i was basically told that step parents have no rights in that situation that the court is going to turn the kids over to the biological parent unless you can prove them unfit. That wasn't going to be easy to do. She was paying her child support, has a job and is raising two other kids. She was way behind on child support but was paying every week for a little over a year. I could have stopped her from taking the kids and insisted that she go through the courts to get them but we just didn't feel that's what was best for the kids. They were going through enough and didn't need to be in a battle between me and their mother. Especially when there was a 99% chance the judge would have awarded them to her.

I have not looked to see if there is a minimum age in NY that children can be left with another child but I know in GA there's not one. I have called an attorney in NY to see if at minimum I can go for visitation rights. Again it just means that I have the rights, it doesn't mean she's going to allow me to see them. When she doesn't I end up right back in court and it's just a lot of money. Right now I stay in contact with the kids. I talk to my step daughter at least 2-3 times a week. My step son not as much but he and I didn't get along that well. Another long story to all of this drama.

I appreciate everyone's input. I'm just trying to get through this nightmare one day at a time, sometimes feeling like I'm doing a horrible job at it.

Thanks for letting me whine and complain.

What you can do depends on where the original custody order was written..GA or NY. If it is NY, I can give you more than just off the wall advice.

Maggie

Maggie,
The court order was written in GA but my understanding from attorney's in GA is that now that he is no longer living the order is basically no good. Full custody automatically goes to her unless someone fights that, which I'm not doing. It's my understanding I now have to contact an attorney in NY in order to get visitation rights. I have a call into an attorney in NY and will probably call one in GA in regards to the back child support she owes.

Michelle