Ironically,I lost Tom on February 13.Valentine's Day is going to be a washout for us,huh?

I am at where you are at present, So I can't really offer much in the way of suggestions. I only wanted to tell you I totally understand what you are going through,and I will pray for you.

To each of you, I am so sorry you ended here looking for support as none of us wanted to be part of this club. Please understand we all KNOW what you are dealing with. I am having a bad evening as I type this. I lost my wife on Oct 2nd, 2017, I just keep getting up and going through each day. My wife was 45, married 18 yrs, I just turned 47 in March. We met as teenagers as well. I still cry ALOT. We did not have children and I have mixed feelings on that as we tried but I guess it just wasn't in the cards for us.

Please let people help you, I get the feeling, they don't really understand!!

Please take care of yourselves. Hugs to all.

I lost my husband 9/30/15. He survived a cardiac arrest only to die 30 days later after surgery while in the ICU. I was in shock and barely even cried for 30 days. I was so afraid of the pain. After the initial shock wore off, I began to read 2 books someone had left at my house for me. One was a daily devotional, the other "Healing after Loss." They were brief writings meant to be read each day for a year. I would read them before getting out of bed. It somehow helped me to focus and gave me hope. I joined a group called Soaring Spirits International for widows and widowers. They offer regional groups of people who have lost a spouse and meet to share and socialize. And then I found this site. Time helps, and I have people in my life who lost their spouses and offered so much support as well. I still miss my man so very much but I am surviving. I'm even ok most of the time. Hope this helps in a small way. Wishing you all peace. Marybeth

Thank you Scottie, that was so touching and beautiful and unfortunately too real for us all!! I thought I felt a little better after almost 91/2 months this morning. My cat has been waking up too soon in the morning when I hate waking up!! I open my eyes and realize that this isn't a nightmare, He is really gone. Then I just want to go back to sleep to get out of reality!! This morning was same then felt a little better, So I thought!!! Boom, horrible grief back again. Another day of talking to my boyfriend, who is in a better realm, and bargaining with him!! Now I have swollen eyes again and have to go out in the cold world feeling vulnerable and misfit, without my better half to help with everything.!! Tempted to join him cause going to have to drive by his place and I know the code to his garage and would love to escape this grief and other problems and join him, just do myself in, too sad now, and the people I enjoyed, sorry.

Thank you Scottie, that was so touching and beautiful and unfortunately too real for us all!! I thought I felt a little better after almost 91/2 months this morning. My cat has been waking up too soon in the morning when I hate waking up!! I open my eyes and realize that this isn't a nightmare, He is really gone. Then I just want to go back to sleep to get out of reality!! This morning was same then felt a little better, So I thought!!! Boom, horrible grief back again. Another day of talking to my boyfriend, who is in a better realm, and bargaining with him!! Now I have swollen eyes again and have to go out in the cold world feeling vulnerable and misfit, without my better half to help with everything.!! Tempted to join him cause going to have to drive by his place and I know the code to his garage and would love to escape this grief and other problems and join him, just do myself in, too sad now, and the people I enjoyed, sorry.blessings to you Scottie and all, and myself, ha!!

Don’t do that suddenlysingle. My wife must have sense some inclination on my part - she made me promise I’d move on, and not end it. I’m not sure about your cat, but I know my dog seems to be the reason I get up in the mornings. It’s a cliche, but I envy his optimism, and I struggle to be the person he believes me to be.

Im so sorry for you loss. As you can see you are not alone. take one minute, one hour and one day at a time. Our grief pushes us to do and feel things that we never thought we could. For each of us our grief is different but we will get to the next step together. Come here often to read and or post. It has helped me a lot

Marybeth has good suggestions. That book "Healing after Loss " was so helpful to me. I read it everyday till it fell apart. Also, I have heard good things about Soaring Spirits International. Whatever it takes to get support has got to be helpful. Everyone here cares. Visit as often as you need to. We have a wonderful group. Grief takes a while to get through but it will eventually get better as you gain strength. May Peace be with you. Love and Hugs, Dolores

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU AND MAKE HIS FACE SHINE ON YOU AND GIVE YOU HIS PEACE