When my husband died last Dec. my 15 year old daughter was at the hospital - many times with her best friend (I'll call) Jessica for the 9 days he was in ICU. Jessica's parents are divorced and she lives with her father and father's parents. Her grandparents don't like her because she looks like her mother and at xmas get gifts for her 2 brothers (one with extreme autism) but not for Jessica. Jessica helped make the poster for my husband's service too. My daughter has said for years "Jessica's father reminds me so much of dad - they act so much alike." My daughter's other good friend lives only with her mother and rarely sees her father.

The other day Jessica's father went to the MD thinking he had the flu - and was immediately admitted to the hosp for lung cancer - my dtr thinks he's 49. (Always seemed very healthy.) The following day he had surgery then he went home. Last night my dtr said she was at the hosp with Jessica (again) - till 2:00 am but then didn't return cell phone messages. (later said she didn't get service) I was yelling at her when she got home - saying she should have at least called and she had a fit.

Within one day of being discharged Jessica's father is back in the hosp. and dtr says they now say he may never speak again. This has all happened within a matter of days. I feel bad that I had a fight with her. Anyone else have an experience like this where their kids have to deal with something else very similar? I'm concerned about how my daughter will handle it - feel she has done well so far with her own father - but her friend's father seems to be going downhill fast. This was the only other "male" in her life she had contact with. We have no relatives except my mother. And it just gets me how for years she has always said "Jessica's dad and dad are soooo much alike".